A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship with an older man, I am 24 he is 52.. We have been together for 3 years and and have been lving together for 2 and a half years.. I moved 320 miles away from my family to be with him.. Things are good for us, we have a good social life.. About 15 months ago I got chatting to a guy (he is 53 and has a girlfriend) who we had been socialising with since I moved up here, but whom I had never got chatting to properly before.. We just got chatting about general stuff, and had a laugh.. It was all good, I thought he was real nice, and quite fancied him actually - I felt we made a connection.From then on we always made an effort to have a chat when we were out, and had a laugh together.. Nothing in it, just being friendly.. Then we swapped email addresses and started chatting on Yahoo Messenger too, we'd to have a laugh and he would flirt with me.. And then, one night in May we were chatting and he made some comment about how he thinks my boyfriend gets a bit weird around him if we have a chat and said he could understand it if we 'were shagging each other - but were not unfortunately'. I agreed with him, then he went on to ask me if I fancied meeting for a drink and some lunch the following day so I agreed to it.We met up, had a lovely time, had a good laugh, went for a drive, and he came on to me, we kissed, and stuff and it was amazing. I knew we had a connection!Anyway, since then (15 months on) we have had this little thing going on, we occasionally meet up, have a drink, go for a drive, I have been to his house a few times (when his girlfriend is away) And we still see each other most weeks when all of our group of friends meet up for drinks.. there is such a chemistry between us and we both want each other so much.. Anyway, I think I have fallen quite deeply for him, he makes me feel good, special, and he is just an amazing guy.. I don't know how he feels about me.. I know he likes me, and cares for me, he has told me he believes we have somthing special but I'm scared to be upfront and ask him straight how he feels, because I don't want what we have to end. I really care for him, and I am a better person when he is around.I know all of this is bad, and I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend but please dont lecture me, I know its wrong, but we can't help the way we feel..To be honest, I love my boyfriend but I am not sure if the love is what it was when we first got together.. and I think, given the option, I would leave for this other guy in an instant, if he wanted me.I don't know why I have written this, I just want to see what y'all have got to say about the situation.Thanks...Confused Girl,XXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses. Lisa, I am so glad someone out there knows how I feel. Its good to know, and I also know that you are right in what you say, I know that I need to find out what I want firstly and also what HE wants.
Thankyou xxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): a women who is sleeping with a married man isnt exactly the most honest person to be taking advice from. i am judging because i flew 6000 miles to have an affair with a married women and i know how bad it can end. best off just starting your life somewhere else and forgetting bout these 2 guys 52 and 53 try widening your circle of friends with people your own age, if u was the gf how would u feel if u was the one being cheated on
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A
female
reader, lisa3121 +, writes (19 July 2007):
Hi, Firstly I'm having an affair with a married man so dont worry about me lecturing you because i'd be a hypocrite. I also have an idea what your going through. my [now ex] boyfriend dumped me in november last year and after a few months of being single i got together with a new guy and it was going great until my ex, who dumped me to go back out with his daughters mum, said that if it didnt work out between him and his girlfriend we could get back together. for me there was no point pretending: i would have dumped my new boyfriend in a heartbeat if i could get back together with my ex. eventually i was looking for a reason to dump my boyfriend because i realised that i was not over my ex and that it wasnt a good sign if id be so ready to dump my boyfriend for my ex, and of course so i'd be waiting for my ex. i think you need to ignore how far you've moved and everything like that and answer these 2 questions: 1.would the guy leave his gf for you?2.what happens if he wouldnt? would you stay with your bf? as for your bf but theres no point thinking about how he would feel until you decide what to do. you need to make your decision based on what you want not based on other people. talk to the guy and find out if he would leave his gf for you and that you want the same things before you say anything to your bf. but please remember, my married lover is always saying things about divorcing his wife but always ends the sentence with "but...".importantly I dont reccomend dumping your bf to be free for the guy unless you know 110% that he feels the same and would leave his gf for you then you could end up with neither. you have to talk to the guy. i know how difficcult it is but you have to talk to him to know where you stand. anyways whatever u do good luck!xxps something to remember: other people dont know what its like to be in love someone who has a gf/bf/husband/wife so its very easy for them to judge.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): stop going for guys old enough to be your father it may seem ok now 10 15 years or so i doubt it,has something in your past meant u go for older guys .stop cheating get away from both of them and have a fresh start maybe with someone who isnt 30 years older
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