A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have a boyfriend who I've been dating for about a year and a half, and I lost my virginity to him, and I love him. I truly do.But he has a friend... and I find myself really excited to see him, and I'm really friendly towards him, and I always feel happy around him, which doesn't happen all the time around anyone. and I find myself extremely attracted to him. he is very nice to me, and outgoing, and funny and always positive and has the same music interests as me, and is good looking too. He is very talented, and i like his family pretty well. (my current boyfriends family are gossip maniacs and i can never quite find myself relating to them). my family also really likes him and they alway ask about him and compliment him, even though they have only met him once. and whenever he is in a group of friends, he always hangs around my boyfriend and me. and he smiles around everyone but I feel like it's different when he smiles at me... I can't tell if he likes me or not.also, this is my second time dating my boyfriend, and when we dated the first time, he broke up with me because my cousin told him that I didn't feel the same way towards him. and I didn't... at least not all the way. I started having feelings for his other friend (a different one from the one I like now and whom I had started liking way before my boyfriend), and he still doesn't know about that. I never dated his friend that I liked before, and I never even told that friend how I felt. I knew that it would hurt my boyfriend even more. I just didn't want to lie about my feelings. but pretty soon, my feelings for his friend died down, and I wanted my boyfriend back, and that entire time, he wanted me back, too.I do truly love my boyfriend, and I do want these other feelings to go away, sort of. but as soon as I think they're gone, I see his friend again, and then my heart jumps through my chest, and I can't breathe, and my feelings come back again.My boyfriend is a really great person, but sometimes, he isn't as nice as he should be, or as respectful. but sometimes, neither am I. for example, there are certain things that I get upset about easily, and he doesn't really console me, he just calls me a baby. but with other things (for example, my very close family member passing away, he is very nice about.) and sometimes if I'm afraid to do something or I am too disgusted or something, he calls me a pussy. and he always talks to his ex's and always flirts with girls (not extreme flirting, but still flirting none the less. even though he "doesn't notice or believe me") he is always looking for constant attention and sympathy and always has to out-do everyone else on the bad things ("oh my life is so terrible, etc.,etc.") he isn't exactly a gentleman, but he can be really great at times. he always talks about marrying me and having kids and living together and all of that, and I don't really like planning out every aspect of my life right down to the day like that. and it makes it even harder to know what to do when my entire family thinks "we will get married and he is just so great". I just don't know what to do. and if I were to break up with my boyfriend, it would be like a divorce. our families ask about both of us all the time and how the other one is doing. they always expect us to be together, and if I were to break up, it would be hard on me and him, and everyone else, too. HELP???
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broke up, cousin, divorce, flirt, his ex, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, MrMcgalliard +, writes (20 August 2011):
Dump your boyfriend, its pretty obvious from this you care for his friend, although by doing this you'd most likely ruin their friendship...so really I guess its whatever type of person you are...i would leave these feelings alone cause theres a possibly horrible outcome, you ruining their friendship. This has happened to me, I was the victim just like your boyfriend. My girlfriend now fiance cheated on me with one of my best friends for a week straight and me and my friend are talking now but havent been the same since. Neither have me and my fiance, but its your decision, just dont cheat....worst idea
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