A
female
age
36-40,
*elia
writes:I crushed him since high school. He didn't seem like me back. But I can't forget him until now. We have been together since 1 year. After that we separate, haven't meet for nearly 10 years. After 10 years later, we contact back from Facebook. We chat and talk a bit. He has a girlfriend and i have boyfriend too now. One day he ask me to hang out. I said immediately yes. Yesterday we hang out together. We have really great moments and talk about old things about schools, friends and future. Yesterday he asked me about which i like or dislike and many things. And then we reach in front of clothes shop, he said take whatever you want, he wants to give me present. So I take one shirt and feel so happy. Yesterday before we separate, he said came. I go near him and suprisely he hugged me tightly. And he said that he will miss me. I said back him that i will miss him too. After separte, i feel so sad and cry. I don’t know that when we can meet again. I do love my boyfriend, but can’t forget my cursh. That make me painful! Help me !!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2015): You never know what a guy is thinking. Unlike women, fellas don't always openly express their feelings and emotions. He may act as though everything is fine, but it might not be.
Telling him about your crush was a little insensitive. He has feelings you know. He wants to be the number one man in your life. Telling a guy you still crush on someone else is not a good idea, it's not necessarily being honest. It's like telling him he's got competition. How would you feel?
A
female
reader, Melia +, writes (21 November 2015):
Melia is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for suggestions!! Really helpful! Now I am trying not to contact him. He seem like hang out with me again. So I avoid him these day. I told my boyfriend about I met my crush. I don't want to lie my boyfriend. He understand me, not problem at all. Thanks again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): You're a grown woman now. You had a walk down memory-lane and you must return to the present. Don't confuse your sentimentality with love, and reminiscence of a young school-girl crush and a time of innocence.
You are apparently missing something in your present relationship that has left a void. You haven't fulfilled that void in all these years, but it isn't over your crush. It is an unfulfilled need, and you've settled. You are still searching, and all your crush did was give you a temporary fix. You got caught-up in a dream-world and you romanticized something that isn't there. You're in-love with being in-love. It's a phase, and it will pass.
He is with someone else, as are you. I think he noticed you were still smitten with him, and he was being very polite. Leave it at that, and getover the childhood sweetheart phase. It is unbecoming for a mature intelligent woman, and will adversely affect the relationship you are currently in. Fantasizing over what could have been, but never was. It's time to grow-up and snap-back to reality, my dear.
Love the one you're with!
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (15 November 2015):
 You can only ever have half the world. If you were to leave your boyfriend for your crush would he do the same? Or would he like to keep his girlfriend and have you as the other woman?
You are on the edge of some big decisions which only the two of you can make. Don't try to have both. It won't work and will cause misery to you, to him and your partners.
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