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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 33 and have been living with my boyfriend for 12 years - we have a house together. Recently I've been having mixed feelings for him and have lost all sexual attraction to the point where we no longer have sex. Although I love him I don't want to marry him and see him more as a brother.Just before Xmas a new member of staff started in our office and unfortunately he's ten years younger than me. We get on brilliantly and he makes me feel happy and 'alive' again.He's told me 'that he loves me to death' and seems to enjoy my company. Last month he asked me out for a drink but I declined as I'm still living with my boyfriend. He's now seeing another girl in work but still seems very interested in me. I'm so confused and not sure what to do next. All I can think about is him - please help as I feel so unhappy and unfulfilled! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (20 April 2006):
 In ten years time you will probably feel exactly the same way about this guy. Make or break your relationship with your live in bf first, have a little respect for him and yourself. Or make it your goal to get back your spark with him, go to counselling or get sexual therapy help.
dont go for it with the kid, he will move on eventually after he has his fun.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): I was in your situation once. i was wit a guy for seven years and at the end I just could not love him the way he deserved to be loved. I did leave him and after it being a nasty seperation, it is now two years later and we are the bestest of friends. when breaking it off with him i felt like the worst person in the world, but i had to keep in mind that what kind of person that says they do love someone if even only like a brother would continue to pretend you both end up missing out on things. my best advice to you is if you don't feel that connection with you bro anymore than only leave him for that reason. So you both can find that "TRUE" happiness not just contentness again, but do not leave him because someone else has caught your eye, cause in that respect "the grass is not greener on the other side." Trust me if you leave him just because its not there you will fill much better about yourself and will not question yourself later. plus you forget the world of male opportunities that are out there after you have been in a relationship for so long, but they are out there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): Your playing with fire. This new lad on the scene seems to be excatly that, a "lad"! Yeah he might seem interested in you, but come on, ten years younger? Thats their trick! And do you honestly think you could ever get the bottle to leave your partner? Just think of everything you would have to sacrifice and seperate. You love him, he's presumably never hurt you, count your lucky stars and respect him back, or leave him immediately, as what your feeling towards this younger guy is betrayal.
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