A
male
age
36-40,
*rchidude
writes: dear cupid !!i wrote earlier about how much i loved my bestfriend and that she keeps on saying things that get me jelous , we are flirting and everythig and what i wanted to know is how to change my position from bestfriend to a bofriend cause i realy love her and she means everything in the world to me , but i dont want to ruin our relationship... but now i have a bigger problem yesterday she told me she didnt want us to talk no more and when i asked her why she told me that she has feelings for me and she didnt want to go into a love relationship and she isnt ready for it and after a while if we did go into a relationship that we would lose each other and she wasnt prepared for that.. now i know i love her and i know she does the same and i feel that she is afraid of what might come in the future but she isnt denying the fact that she is afraid of her feelings !!i dont know what to do now .. i told her that i'll do anything that makes her happy !!what to do ?!! im starting to lose my love and i dont realy know what to do :s !!!
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female
reader, KaytiieBabyy +, writes (18 June 2010):
let me know how it goes darling? (:
A
male
reader, archidude +, writes (10 June 2010):
archidude is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell .. i'm going to talk to her today and tell her that we need to discuss this and i will ask her what is she affraid of and hopefully i'd win her back cause today i realy felt like i lost a piece of my heart because i couldnt talk to her !!i know she had bad relationships in the past and that might have had something to do with her feer of gettig into the feelings zone again and risk her peace and joy to a hurt heart and a loss of a friend !!but hopefully i'd keep her .. even as my bestfriend cause my life without her is empty and my heart is broken !i'd appreciate any suggesions and thx for ur help ppl ... realy thx !!
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A
female
reader, KaytiieBabyy +, writes (10 June 2010):
Don't do it, you may ruin what you have. I fell for my bestfriend and she and i just recently grew apart into dogging each other around to the point were there was a physical fight, if you love her that much stay friends and always Have teh friendship you have now (:
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A
female
reader, LottieCole +, writes (10 June 2010):
Dear Archidude,
you have two options here either you sit her down and talk things through, reassuring her that you love her and would like to try the whole relationship thing with her but slowly. take her on a few dates show her how you can progress from friendship to relationship. Her biggest fear maybe that if things go wrong she will lose her best friend, show her the other possibility, that taking the risk could lead to the most wonderful relationship. The best relationships are build on solid friendship foundations.
Your other option however is to wait, to give her time to come around to the realisation of how much you mean to her. You dont mention why she might be scared of these feelings and thats something you should ask her about. She might have been hurt in the past and doesnt want to risk her heart again even to you. Girls can be mysterious creatures im afraid.
I wish you luck and hope this has helped.
Lottie x
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