A
female
age
26-29,
*anabananana
writes:Okay my boyfriend and I started dating last June 2012. He was in California and I was from Maryland so like a long distance relationship. I already saw him though back when were 12 years old. I took a vacation in the Philippines, and since then he got clingy to me. I did not like it at first of course I haven't had any kind of relationship like this before. Eventually, I did. I felt like he really cared about me and wanted to protect me since we were in a long distance relationship.However, he thinks I am cheating when I am not. So now I was like why does he keep on pushing that I am cheating when I am not? that I am so serious in this relationship and I will not ever do that. So I was like probably he is cheating? Well I always ask him he always tells me he is not cheating.He helped me with my family problems, stay out of trouble and to get money you know. Basically he is really nice. His family really likes me. We have sex every week since January, but then we had our first intercourse and I got pregnant last december. He did not believe me at first, he panicked. I'm like we created this baby you know. so i have been in lots of fights with him because of that. I involved his sister eventually. I have been constantly going to the clinics too. false negatives and such, low hcg and such. he did not talk to me counting the days will be like almost two weeks. he told me he is stressed and such and i told his family that I am pregnant. Feb 13, our 8th months anniversary he did not even greet or talked to me. Feb 14, did not even say happy valentines day or did not even give me anything. I bought him a cake though and told them to pick it up. Feb 13 i told his father that i am pregnant. Feb 14, i lost our baby. i was really stressed and cried a lot. we talked feb 16, and had sex. i was really stressed and needed him. i understand that i was not supposed to have sex so soon after losing the baby. So like now he does not believe me that i lost the baby. I told him it is up to you if you believe me or not, God knows what happened.I'll be taking my cna state exam, and for him, his ged. he wants space now. Now i feel like something is up you know. he does not give me any of his accounts anymore. He is constantly online on facebook when he should be studying. He has become very controlling towards me What do you think? :( i really love him :(
View related questions:
anniversary, facebook, long distance, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (10 March 2013):
its hard but you need to get rid of him because you cant trust him after this. you will never be able to forget this or forgive him (not blaming you of course) good luck
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 He has accusing you of the same things he is doing. He wants to cheat but doesn't want others to have you. He wants to have sex, without condoms, but does not want fathering responsibilities. He is cuffing you, because he can't stand you leaving him for guys much better than he is.
Maybe he suspected you having an abortion. It does not lessen the sadness you have, losing the baby. You are very young, and your body probably is not fully grown to handle pregnancy.
There is absolutely nothing keeping you in this relationship. Yes, he helped you with money, but he is still an asshole.
Even if you carried the baby to full term, he will deny being father because you "cheat." Young guys' behavior is very predictable.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 March 2013):
 when the chips are down you discover who are your real friends. You are really noticing the truth of the situation. Often it is the one who complains the most their partner and alleging that their partner is cheating is when the accuser is trying to shift any blame away from themselves (about cheating) so instead they jump in first and maliciously accuse their partner of cheating
Your guy does not mind the fliratation and the fun of sex. But he was not ready for a baby.
He did not demonstrate the maturity nor the empathy to give you support and consideration.
You created a baby together and that realization shocked him to the core.
He was callously disregarding your feelings on Valentine's day and I offer my sympathy to you as losing a baby for any woman is very distressing and a very very tough time for any woman. Although it is hard to come to terms with losing a baby please do accept that some things really are NOT meant to be. You will get another opportunity to get pregnant but at least take precautions to not get pregnant until you complete your studies. And wait for a time when can support you and a baby. Especially if he runs out on you. which he could, if you are still together in a few years time.
After losing the baby you needed to be able to put your feet up. You had a right to expect some consideration from him. Your body has undergone a big shock. Make sure you see your Doctor regularly for a follow up. And start on some form of contraception. other wise you could face 20 pregnancies over the next twenty years. Too many indeed.
I do not think your boyfriend, no matter how much you love him, is ready for responsibility yet. His behaviour suggests that if you get pregnant again that he will not be there to support you.
You most certainly would still be grieving for the baby you lost. And as you say, God knows the truth. All that matters now is that you accept that God was not ready for you to have a baby at this point in time. Your Boyfriend though is also certainly not ready emotionally to be a father.
He is though ready to have sex. He should have shown you more respect straight after you lost the baby.
...............................
|
