A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm engaged to a wonderful man whom i love and who i am IN love with. I'm just not happy. I love him with every inch of my heart, we have a gorgeous home and a fantastic relationship. We are best friends as well as partners. I love my job and have an active social life, but for some reason im not happy. I know in my heart he is the man for me and who i want to grow old with. But all i seem to do is snap at him. He never snaps back or argues and when i do snap at him i see how upset it is getting him. He can't seem to do anything right as all i do is snap yet he DOES do everything right! I love him and want to stop snapping and get back to the happy go lucky me, but even tho i'm trying i'm finding it increasinlg difficult. Please help!
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 March 2008):
 What would make you happy? If you could press a magic button, what would you change.
Are you telling yourselve that you should be happy with what you got because that is what everyone tells you? You make it sound like you got it all, but is that what you really want out of live.
Happtochat has a point as well.
Another aspect may be that you wish he were more dominant towards you. Some women desire a man who takes charge, do you wish he would correct your behaviour to him?
There are frankly to many possible causes. When you are snapping at him what is your secret desire that you wish to happen. For him to dump you, so you no longer have to worry about how you could possibly keep this perfect man? For him to take charge and stop you?
How is your sex life, and be honest here. Counting orgasms ain't enough, does he satisfy your desires or is there something missing.
Then again it might simply be hormones. If there is nothing missing from your relationship you could always consult with a doctor.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 March 2008):
 I agree with the other poster, but would like to add an additional possability. "Fear"!
You have a great life, how afraid are you of loosing what you have? Your behavior is a manner of control. Many people create this control in an area they fear of loosing.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (25 March 2008):
How long has this been going on for? What happened aroudn the time you started doing this? How long have you been together??
My guess is that you are taking your frustratiions out on him. Knowing that he will not stand up for himself, you know you can get away with treating him like this and still have him be so loyal to you. Perhaps something else in your life is going wrong and you are taking it out on him.
Or quite often when someone has a deep feeling that maybe their bf/gf will leave them they actually try to 'push them away' subconciously by treating them badly in ways like you are. They do this as like a test and sometimes dont even realise it. They put on a real hard/mean act to see how much their partner will put up with and if they really 'love' them enough to put up with all the crap.
Do you have a deep fear of him leaving you?
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