A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been with the same guy for three years. I love him very much, but like most young love we have problems. A few months ago he told me he didn't love me anymore, we didn't talk for 2 or 3 weeks but like always we kissed and made up. All of a sudden he is talking about forever. Like what color we will paint our room and what ring size I am. I get nervous and say I can't wait, but I worry I'm not ready for planning a wedding. I love him with all my heart and soul, I'm just young and not sure. I saw a little black box in the car the other day and don't know how to say no without hurting him. I want to marry him, just not right now. Please help me say no gently.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 December 2013):
 I don't think it'll hurt his feelings to say, "whooaaa, I like you a lot - I like you a ton, but you know that I'm not ready to even think about getting married, right??".
But if you feel uncomfortable with that, you could go for a more subtle approach. When he brings up weddings or cakes or bridesmaid dress color schemes, you could say, "yeah - I'm totally into dusty rose and beige for the color theme. I've been thinking a lot about our wedding... I think we should get married when I'm 24 and you're 25. We'll be old enough to drink, and I'll be young enough to still look smokin' in my wedding dress. Sometime in June. What month do you like?"
This way, you don't say NO, but you do say that you're not wanting to get married for several more years - and then you quickly swap the question to something else.
I think you're making the right decision. Waiting sounds like a good idea. Good luck, sweet!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 December 2013):
I don't think it'll hurt his feelings to say, "whooaaa, I like you a lot - I like you a ton, but you know that I'm not ready to even think about getting married, right??".
But if you feel uncomfortable with that, you could go for a more subtle approach. When he brings up weddings or cakes or bridesmaid dress color schemes, you could say, "yeah - I'm totally into dusty rose and beige for the color theme. I've been thinking a lot about our wedding... I think we should get married when I'm 24 and you're 25. We'll be old enough to drink, and I'll be young enough to still look smokin' in my wedding dress. Sometime in June. What month do you like?"
This way, you don't say NO, but you do say that you're not wanting to get married for several more years - and then you quickly swap the question to something else.
I think you're making the right decision. Waiting sounds like a good idea. Good luck, sweet!
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