A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys and dolls there :-) my head is about to explode. I'm in a longdistance relationship with my bf- soon to be husband. He lives a bunch of hrs away by plane. We get to see each other very often, we're both very committed to making things work. He says he will be able to move back here in 5/7 years time. It's a hell of a long time, isn't it?? We will of course get to see each other non stop for 3 months a year (i'm a teacher and have summer off), Xmas holidays and weekends. But still, it's such a long time. I want to be with him every single day of my life. I love him like i've never loved anyone before, but should I marry him and be in a long distance marriage for so many years? Am I seeing all black? I feel very lonely (although he's very present, we Skype every nite for hours and see each other almost every weekend). What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry, I was visiting my fiancé and just got back home :) I am a teacher in a state school and I cannot leave my job because it is a very safe and very well-paid job which will allow me to only work 6 months a year (Sept-March) then get back in Sept. I thought I could only get 3 months off, but I read the regulations and the state actually allows me to take 6 months off. So, this would mean I would be able to see my hubbie 6 months straight every year. It is a very priviledged job. He cannot quit his job there because he's very well paid too and he isn't able to find an equally well paid job over here, so he says he's gonna need those years to save up, then move here and be with me without the drilling thought of having to find a job straight away. So, would it make sense to see him 6 months a year for a bunch of years? Or would it be the craziest marriage on earth? ;) Thank you!!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Why do you have to wait 5-7 years? Why can't you go be with him or he come to you? To me, that would indicate that I'm not a high enough priority for him to change his life to accommodate my presence on a permanent daily basis. Not good enough, I'm afraid.
I'd sadly wish him well, and look to find a partner who is present and available.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): Marriage is such a huge commitment yet neither of you can commit to moving to get married. Neither one of you want to give up anything or sacrifice anything so I imagine your marriage would play out the same way! You are already lonely in the relationship right now so how will you be less lonely after getting married? You also don't learn much about another person when you see them in short spurts...it's the day to day over a period of time. Personally, I wouldn't marry anyone who wanted me to put my life on a shelf for 5-7 years in order to be really married one day. I'd be sitting home alone at nights, sleeping alone, wondering how my teacher's salary was more important to him than him supporting me as a wife until I found another job.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): Whatever you do, make sure you marry the one that makes you happy. Long distance or not!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): i say MARRY THE MAN..... you will still get to see him i too work in a school and i am in a LDR so i get to see my man school hols weekends as much as i can fit in i think you are lucky to be marrying the love of your life and still in a LDR at least you know the star prize at the end of it all is TOGETHERNESS when he comes to live with you permently i am soon to end my LDR cause will be moving in with him and i can say its been hard the been apart all the time and tough but cause we are committed loyal honest to each other and seein him when i can its all been worth it the been apart from him got my star prize being with him permantly soon but no wedding bells for me yet so lucky you getting married go for it you love him dont you and the time will fly by with you seeing him most of the time at least you get to see him and skype as well you got it good really GOOD LUCK...
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A
female
reader, Domolovescookies +, writes (24 January 2012):
 You are a teacher.... just move to where he is and get a job teaching there?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 January 2012):
 NO one can tell you what YOU should do… I can tell you that I just ended an LDR with him moving to me… and he’s going to have to give up his job shortly because of it… but we felt that being together was more important…
Why can’t one of you move? Can you get a teaching job where he lives???
A bunch of hours away by plane and yet you manage twice a month visits? That’s great. We knew after spending the whole summer together this past summer (I was off for major surgery) that we could not bear to be apart too much…. We moved up our moving in date by many many months.. .
How long have you two been LDR?
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A
female
reader, Crazy Fox  +, writes (24 January 2012):
 My answer is rather short. Personally I don't believe that it's a good idea. You have to live together, 5/7 years time sounds impossible, skype and summer sounds good, but it's not enough. Try to find a way to get together first and then do the things...
All the best,
Crazy Fox
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