A
female
age
30-35,
*utiepiesensei
writes:I'm 18, my boyfriend is 19, and we've been together for a year. I truly do love him, don't want to leave him, and really can't picture myself with another guy. I've even tried talking to other guys (when we were on a two week break), really cute ones too lol but I just can't get into it, and I always find myself thinking about my boyfriend. The problem is, I'm bored with our relationship. Whenever we go out it is always dinner and then a movie. He never really wants to do anything different like take me to Cirque De Soleil (i say that specifically because it's in town lol) or a football game, or the aquarium. I've expressed how i feel about that to him but he hasn't changed his date plan. There was ONE time where he planned a FANTASTIC date (valentines day), but even that one involved seeing a movie. Whenever he wants to do sexual things he ALWAYS starts playing with my breasts (which used to feel amazing but now since he does it all of the time it's annoying and doesn't feel quite as good). And he wants to have sex ALL THE TIME. We used to be able to just hang and watch movies and talk, but ever since we started having sex I can't visit him even once without him wanting to do something. For example, it was raining today and all I wanted to do was cuddle and watch Glee together (we both like the show). But I couldn't lay there without him kissing my neck and back or feeling his hard-on pressing against my butt. And the moment the show ended he practically jumped on me. I feel bad because just around him I feel content but I don't really want to have sex anymore. It's kind of boring because it's always the same and he hasn't once been able to make me orgasm. We've tried different positions and I've even tried placing his hands in the right places but for some reason it just doesn't work. I don't know if it's just because I can't get in the right mindset or what because I can easily make myself orgasm. But when he does it it just doesn't feel the same and i can tell that if he goes at it for a minute or two and i still haven't gotten really close to orgasm he kinda slows down or gives up. So our dates are boring and sex is boring and monotonous and I just really don't feel that rush of emotion like I used to. I've reached a point where I will always love him/be IN love with him, but I desperately need spice in this relationship. I fear if this continues, I won't love him as much :( I don't want to break up though because I feel like any relationship I get into, once it becomes long term like this, it'll start losing its flair a bit too. Now please don't get me wrong, my bf is a wonderful guy that treats me right and I KNOW he cares about me. He says he even wants to marry me one day (and has told his parents this). I just don't know what to do.....
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female
reader, cutiepiesensei +, writes (17 November 2010):
cutiepiesensei is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not staying just because he says that, I'm staying because I actually do love him. There was a period of time where we took some time off (he kinda broke it apart for a bit) and i felt horrible that I had actually lost him. When we finally got back together, it was really good and we were happy, but like I said it's just monotonous. I love spending time with him and everything but we always do the same things. Too much of a good thing is boring....
However I will take the advice about me planning things (because I do tend to leave it up to him, I just wish he would be more creative). Also I will explain to him that having sex all the time gets redundant and makes it lose that "special" feeling. And I'll buy some new lingerie and a Cosmo :)
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Tell him you refuse to see another movie, that's all you guys do and you're not trying to turn into a boring old married couple at 18. Then tell him where you want to go. Take over on arranging the activities otherwise it's going to be the same old.
Now, as far as the sex goes..it took me 8 years to achieve an orgasm through sex. If you are missing that big "O" I suggest you go solo in order to achieve it. Other tips I can give you, are riding him while stimulating your clitoris, and put your ankles on his shoulders missionary style, however he leans forward elevating your pelvis..this does it for me. As for the rest of his routine, buy a Cosmo or look up different sex positions online, throw in some lingerie, even take a trip to your friendly, local sex shop. Really, I think it's you're getting tired of doing it all the time, too much sex can redundant real fast. Even though his hormones are raging at this point, tell him you'd rather not have sex daily...just to give your vagina a break do it every other day.
After, you have tried all this and nothing changes (give it time) then you know very well your bored all together in this relationship and it's time to get out of it. You haven't been together all that long so it shouldn't be that hard, but I can't help but think you're staying around due to the fact he says he wants to marry you one day.
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