A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a very affectionate, outgoing person. I like texting people saying goodmorning and goodnight, asking people how their day is, wishing them well. I do it to close family members and my boyfriend. Because of my job, I work and live several hours from them (though I go home as much as possible) and do everything I can to stay in touch and feel as close as possible.And when I first started dating my boyfriend, he seemed not to mind this and we would call/text each other first thing in the morning.But he's stopped doing this and, not to be overly sensitive, it hurts my feelings a bit. Makes me wonder if I'm just being annoying and a nuisance to him. I'm always thinking about other people and they don't ever seem to think about me as much. He used to text me RIGHT away and we used to call every day, even late at night sometimes. But... not anymore.And I love him so it's not like I can just break it off and magically find someone who I fall in love with and who's just as affectionate as me and doesn't mind me checking in on them. I love THIS guy.But I just wonder if it's worth it in the long term. Or maybe I AM annoying with all my "goodmorning!" and "hope your day is going well!". I don't want him to think I'm smothering him or clingy... it's just the way I am.Would love to hear from other people, on what they think about this.
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (22 October 2013):
Just because you love to do this doesn't mean he does. You are dating a great guy? Right?? So you say you do this with everyone, do they also do this for you? Is your expectation the same for your friends and family. I think not.
If this is a great guy, you love too bits, why would you want to lose sight over this "little thing." This is not worth worrying about. There are greater mountains to climb in a relationship than to waste your time being upset over this "little thing"
Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2013): When you're in the "getting to know you" stage of the relationship; most guys seem more affectionate, and are quite chatty by text message. Then messaging starts to plateau and slack off as time passes. He gets used to you, and the novelty wears off a bit. The wooing courtship is over, and you're an established couple.He probably isn't all that cheerful in the morning.You don't say how long you've been in a relationship. Do you normally gauge a person's feelings for you by the frequency of their messages, and the length of time before they respond?Does he know this?How happy is he to see you in-person? Does he seem to miss you?Tell him what you'd like, and compromise. Messaging does get annoying when it becomes an all-day routine. Cutesy stuff gets distracting when you're busy.If you "love" him, and don't plan to seek someone who likes messaging, and expressing their feelings by frequently messaging; then deal with it. This is where you must be mature, and use logic. Temporarily put emotions aside.Going into a relationship with the intent to "change" people to fit your mold is a big mistake. You've completely attached your feelings without making sure he was exactly the type of guy you want? You don't have to settle for anything less. If you don't want him to think you're smothering and clingy; then don't judge him by his habits regarding text messaging. Judge him by how he treats you as a woman, and generally as a person. Does he show you respect and physical affection? Otherwise;what does he do that makes you love him so much? Prepare to dump him, if you feel he isn't message-responsive enough. That's very important to you.If he is slacking off on his end?Ask him, why?If you feel he takes you for granted; by all means, tell him. No better time than the present. Start holding back some of your feelings, until you know it's truly worth it.It's give and take.You're a woman now. You have the right to get what you want, and reject any man incapable of offering you the things you want and need in a relationship. Of his own free-will, that is.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 October 2013):
I'm sure he's just different than you, not annoyed by you. It's something that's definitely worth talking about, but if a talk doesn't change him, you'll just have to learn not to take it personally.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2013):
 Have you ASKED HIM how he feels about it?
if not why not?
if so what has he said?
ASK HIM.... what OTHERS think does not matter.. what HE thinks does.
He may not mind it but he may not feel the need to reply.
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