A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am totally in love. head over heels for this guy. there is a 7 year difference between us. my mother will not stand for it, and is trying to put him in jail because i am only 17. ive been with this guy {behind her back} for a year now, and I'm so close to being 18, but once im 18 i have to decide, move out and find somewhere with him, or let him go and i wont lose my family. theres no way in keeping both. im so confused, someone please give me something i can stand on.
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Hi,i am 19 and my bf is 30.At first my parents never allowed it because they hav issues with his family (it had nothing to do with our ages)Now my parents have decided to let us be. He sees me at home (they prefer it that way instead of me seeing him at street corners.Gain your mums trust and then she might give yiou a chance.
Mail me,i would be glad to share my experience with you
A
female
reader, skye  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Wow! Poor you! No wonder you are so very confused. Ok, so he is older than you. Is this the only reason that your mother does not like him? Is he a bad person, a bad influence, a drug or alcohol abuser, does he beat you? Seems like there must be another reason to this.
You have been very childish by meeting this man behind your mothers back, but then you know that. Talk to her and tell her your feelings for him. Make sure she knows that he will treat you well by allowing her to see it for herself. Invite him to your home for dinner. Im sure she will be angry and hurt at first, but if you tell your mother that you want to behave in an adult fashion, then she will respect that, treat you as such and extend the dinner invitation herself.
I would not plan on moving in with your boyfriend for a while yet. Not until you and he have gained the trust of your family. If he really does care for you, he will do all he can to make them see it. He would not want you to be estranged from them.
Speak to both your family and your boyfriend and ask them to try and meet eachother halfway. I hope you can work this out together.
Best wishes,
Skye
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): This man has risked his liberty for quite a while. Are there chances for your mother to believe he is interested in you fortune or want to gain other privileges from this relation? What does he object against except for the age? It's a hard situation. Your mother wants to protect you, but from whom? - she doesn't know him well, nor wants to, why? There are cases when the girl came back crying at her mom, agreeing she had been right, and cases when the man is given a chance and it turns out good for everyone. The 7 year difference is considerable, but behind the age there's a man, plans, "forwards to". If you plan to marry once your 18, know that your preferences in what regards relationships may be just contouring, but try and go on with your studies, get employment and tell your mother you assume responsibilities for your actions and that once she warned you, she should let you make your choices, and see for yourself whether you're in a mistake or not. Usually the girl being at the beginning of her relationship-life and the man being more experimented, he can profit from this to turn things to his favour. Try and prolong the engagement" " in time until you have confirmations who you deal with. Your mother's worries are justified, but in the end it's you who have the helm of your life... Maybe you and this man should thin out the meetings until you're 18 and spare him time in law courts. Also, if you decide to continue this once you reach the consent age, remind your family you don't want to chose between them. In my opinion, we should be entitled to make our own mistakes. Thats' why the phrase "the history repeats itself" is so frequent, because we don't usually learn from the others'. But I wish you to have made a good pick, only there are many times bad choices disguised in good opportunities and this is what your mom fears, give her time, and yourself as well. Good luck there.
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A
female
reader, bbrown116 +, writes (5 August 2007):
If your family and partner love you, which I'm sure they do, they will love you whatever you choose. i chose to be with a man my family didn't like and in the end they supported me.
All the best
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A
male
reader, DanBing +, writes (5 August 2007):
 your family shouldnt be making you choose!
He's 24/25 your 18 nearly! thats fine!
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A
male
reader, boyo9876 +, writes (5 August 2007):
If in your heart you know that this is right for you, then choose love. Simple as.
Parents who let their own opinions stop their offspring from being happy don't deserve to be parents. At 17 years old you have some idea of what you're doing. You're not a child. Your mum needs to get over it and allow you to be happy.
What if this person is your true love? The person who you'll spend the rest of your life and have a family with. All that could be thrown away just because your mum doesn't like him. Your mum needs to get over herself and allow you to be happy. Wait until you're 18 then stand on your own 2 feet and be happy. If you're mum doesn't accept this then you don't need her, parents are supposed to love unconditionally not just when you do what they want.
Unless he's a drug dealer or he's really dodgy and then I dont blame her, but if he's a nice guy and the only issue is the age gap then yur mum really needs to GET OVER IT
I wish you all the best, these situations are not easy.
If she loves you then it doesn't matter if you live with this person, she'll still be there for you.
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