A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, im 21 and im in a big relationship problem, i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years and we are in love with eachother. the problem is that im a virgin and hes not and im not willing to lose it until i get married. He has not had sex for as long as we have been together but now he cant take it anymore and he really needs it. He wants to go and sleep with a random girl and i agreed with it, we are too much in love with eachother that we cant let go from each other but due to his abstinence he has several physical problems which is why im allowing it since i cant satisfy. its going to kill me i dont know how to deal with it and i have no other solution please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): I agree with annonymous. My boyfriend would never have sex with another girl whilst we where together - sure we have sex but he even said he would wait for me if I hadn't wanted to have sex so young.He's going to be kissing and pleasuring another woman. Do you really want to marry a man who would have sex with another woman just because 'he needs it'. You should try other ways such as annonymous said like handjobs or blowjobs. Nobody needs sex, sure you really feel like having sex but you wouldn't want to betray the woman you love.It sounds like your religious by saving yourself for marriage and last time I looked someone cheating on someone else was a sin.
A
male
reader, Sandman  +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Okay. First of all I wanted to say that I'm so happy to read that you are deciding to abstain from sex until you are married. I applaud your efforts and pray you continue your journey until the day your HUSBAND will make love to you for the first time. Now on to your boyfriend. Physcial problems? I doubt it. If he isn't masturbating, he might want to start. Having sex with another female is cheating - no matter how you cut it. Even if you've given him permission (and never EVER give your man permission to be with another woman!) it's still cheating. What happens if one day your husband says he wants to sleep with the neighbor because you're inexperienced? Will you let him? You'd better not if you want to stay married. In conclusion - if your boyfriend doesn't know how to stroke his member he'd better learn. And don't give in to having sex with him before you're married either (just thought I'd throw that in there). Stay strong and help him to be strong and WAIT. And oh, giving him hand/blowjobs will only make things worse because the natural progression is to want sex and he will want it even more if you do that for him. Let him take care of his own sexual needs for now until (if he really loves you and is willing to wait) the day you're both married and able to have sex free from guilt and shame. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): First of all, I applaud you for waiting until you are married. This is a precious gift and you can never get it back. Now, I doubt he's having physical problems...PULEEZZEE Do you have oral sex? He definitely knows how to mastrubate and I'm sure he's having no problem in that area. Telling him to have sex with some random chick is relationship suicide. You already know you will be hurt if he does it, even with your permission. This is not the answer.If he cannot wait, then it's no longer about love, it's about him and his sexual needs. Him accepting your permission also is not about love, it's selfish. A man is not going to "die" from lack of sex. There are other ways of pleasing ones self and that needs to be explored before you send him to some "random" chick for release.
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