A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I love him, but I don't want to be in love right now.Up until last year, my boyfriend and I were together for 3 years. When we broke up, despite how much I love him, I wasn't sure that he was "the one" and because of that, I broke it off.During the year, both him and I had casually dated here and there, but we both missed each other tremendously. As a result, we just got back together this past May.Lately, I feel as though the love that we have for each other has grown - significantly. We've matured and things that we didn't like about each other in the old relationship have changed for the better. However, the problem is is that I really just want to be on my own. I love him so much and I honestly can't imagine someone being a better fit for me, but I'm only 22 and I'm just not ready or willing to be in such a serious relationship right now. There's no one else in particular that I want to date or be with, I just want to be on my own for a while, you know?We've talked about all of this, so he knows where I'm coming from and what's on my mind, but I'm so scared to actually break it off because I know exactly what it's like to not have him in my life as a result of the break-up over last year. I love him so much and I hope that he is the one that I end up with, but for right now, I just need to be on my own. Yet, I don't want to lose him. He's like family to me, really, and my life without him is worse off.I'm not sure what kind of advice it is that I'm asking for here, but I guess any advice or shared experiences would be very appreciated.
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female
reader, rachy-baby-helps  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Think about what you really want out of this. It is likely that if you break it off you will both end up dating again and will miss each other just like last time. If you feel like you need to be alone, go out with other friends. Take holidays on your own or just stay with family. Have some time apart and your relationship will grow stronger. The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is perfectly true as you have already realised. If you take time out for yourself, your relationship will work out. A it is clear that you aviously love this guy and don't want to lose him. So I suggest staying together but having time out.
Good Luck :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): make him a friend, or a best friend? a friend that you can talk about more things than other friends?
i'd hate to be that guy
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