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female
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anonymous
writes: hi, i think i want to break up with my boyfriend,gary, but i just dont know how or when? we have been together for 3 1/2 yrs. we split breifly after two years as we both agreed it wasn't working,we were constantly arguing and sex was virtually non existent.i then got with someone he already knew,jon. A few months later i cheated on to get back with gary, although my friends say jon did deserve it as he treated me badly.now gary and i have been back together for 6mnths, everything was going ok at first, but now i feel we are heading back to how we were before, i do love him with all my heart and he is my best friend and i would do anything not to hurt him,i also fancy sum1 new (who he knows) and i think about this person and i having sex 24/7! please help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): I am in totally the same position and its freaking me out. I love my boyfiend of 4 years but I don't feel in love with him anymore and I can't even bear the thought of leaving him and ruiining his life! I have played around with a guy at work and the chemistry just gets more and more intense. I feel like a cow but I am petrified of losing someone wonderful and don't know how to make up my mind whether I should stay with the 4 year boyf or go it alone... Aaargh, life is complicated huh..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): Seems to me you are not sure what exactly it is that you want, your statement doesn't make much sense to me "I love him but I want someone else". Its like this, if you love someone, then you would not want to be with someone else. If you are having sexual thoughts of another man, then you do not love your boyfriend cause if you did your heart would be totally on him. Think you should have some time on your own and sort out what you want and who you want to be with.Think at this stage you should free yourself of both relationships and clear your mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): Seems to me that you're heading down the same road as before. You have to decide if you want to work at it with Gary, or finish things and move on. Don't just get with the other guy though, you should be on your own for a while, that way you its easier to recognise what you want when you find it. Either try sort out the relationship or move on, otherwise you will just resent him. Take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): sorry i think u misunderstood my question, i am only in one relationship and thats with gary. i have no relationship with the new guy. what i meant is that i always thinking/ fantasing about the new guy in a sexual way.thats why i think i need to break up with my boyfriend. i dont know how or when??? will i regret it???
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (31 May 2006):
 You never worked out your previous issues with "Gary" and you fell back into the same rut. My only question is why do you go after guys that he knows or knows him. Personally, that would totally turn me off because who wants to be with a woman who has slept with the whole click. Why would a man want that? I would be ashamed to walk into a party or barbeque and everybody in the room can tell me how sex is with my girlfriend. Thats slutty. Harsh but true. Does your issues with "Gary" stem from you cause that would bother the hell out of me. Not Judging just observing.
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (31 May 2006):
 What was wrong with the relationship in the first instance was not worked through and so nothing has changed, you split and then got back together with the same issues still there.
You need to finish both relationships and give yourself some thinking and reflection time, just chill for a while and work out what you want from future relationships, let yourself grieve for the two losses and then forget them and move on, learn the lessons and realise that you wanted different things from both of these men but you wanted it all in the one man and relationship.
Sadly it was doomed and so the best thing is to walk away from them both.
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