A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:have the best man in m life, caring thoughtful, gentle, fabulous BUT he doesn't or is not interested in making love. We love each other dearly but i am missing the intamacy. we have been together for just over a year and propbably have sex or make love about once every three months. i think i am not sexy but he recons he fancies me. he is not interested in dressing up or sexy underear etc, even when i take the lead or suggest etc there is no interest, i have to wait until he is ready please can you hlp me change this so that e can becomr more 'active' and have fun and more then that fell the intamacy i.e. LOVE !! I love him dearly. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): You don't mention if he is healthy. High blood pressure , diabetes and other things can diminish sexual drive in men. Some guys are shy, too. Some have had poor sexual experiences or partners who were demeaning so they are hesitant to disappoint another woman. When you are intimate next time, tell him how wonderful it is and what feels good. Encourage him. You should also talk with him about sex a d discover what he is into to. He might like porn, have fantasies or want to try something different. If you figure out what turns him on then he'll respond even if his libido is lowered. We all have some sort of "kink. "
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Hi. I have a similar problem with my partner and after being with him for over 4 years he has a flahback nightmare, and I findout that he was abused as a child by another child. this explained a lot for me (our sexual problems) and he sometimes eve gets jumpy when i touch him. I'm trying to be patient, but I need phyisical love and admiration also. Im not sure how my story will go, but perhaps your partner may have a similar background? Just remember its not always about us. Perhaps you could ask him about it, has he had these problems for ever? since a certain experience? Is he a heavy drinker?(This can supress the libido). Is he depressed for some reason? (also supresses the libido)... Talk to him. If all else fails, buy a vibrator, and get a couples councellor??...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): i would say try to get him in the mood now and then. if that doesn't work, i suggest him using pills so he can get turned on, because if a guy doesn't get turned on by a girl, then something is wrong. ( i'm being sarcastic )
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