A
female
age
30-35,
*breiholz
writes:Me and my boyfriend of 6 months broke up. We got back together for a little bit but he said I pull him into my drama too much and that I always need him to feel sorry for him. I told him I would work on that if he would stay with me. But when he didn't know right away I said some horrible things to him that I didn't mean and he's so hurt he doesn't want to talk to me? I love him so much... What do I do?!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 They say that things said in anger always has an element of truth in them so deep down somewhere inside you may not have been honest with yourself.
Do you honestly feel any of the things that you said to him or see him in that way etc?
If you had a major verbal attack on him and he feels that you are a little bit of high maintenance, i.e. the fact about the pulling him into your drama (not sure exactly what as you don't elaborate), but anyway a relationship of 6 months is not exactly long term and the fact that you broke up and tried to make it work but it hasn't seems to me that there are things that are wrong and if those things relate to you, perhaps it is a time to sort out those issues on your own for a while.
What you don't want to do is to have someone with you who feels like they are being emotionally blackmailed to stay with you or they just feel pity.
What you want is someone to be with you because they love and care for you and want the same things that you do.
Maybe in hindsight, this is a blessing in disguise, you just can't see it right now.
Maybe write him a letter (the old fashioned way), and send it or deliver it to his house, probably better when you know he is not there, put in all the things that you really wanted to say and explain how sorry you are as you didn't mean what you said and unfortunately you can't take those words back but you are working on making yourself someone who is not overly dramatic and you have taken on board a lot of what he has said to you and that you hope that one day you can be friend's again. This way it leaves a slight doorway open for the future and who knows, if you actually do resolve the issues you have you don't know who might be just around the corner.
Let him get over his hurt feelings and don't hassle him or beg him as it is never a good way to go.
Just write to him honestly and openly.
Best of luck.
Country Woman
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