A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:To give you a bit of background I'm not very sexually experienced. I've slept with two people in long-term relationships before my current partner and he is my third sexual partner (he is 23). In both my previous relationships, I had passionate, ordinary sex with. However, although my partner is passionate, he likes the idea of "taking my innocence" as it were. He wants to have sex with me especially when I'm on my period, he wants me to dress up in like school girl/cheer leader kind of outfits in the bedroom. I don't exactly know if it's right? I mean I know a lot of guys have like a school-girl fetish, but I've never been with a guy quite so serious about a fetish before and I'm not sure how to take it? I just want a general opinion on whether this is okay, or not, please? I don't know whether to be worried, a bit freaked out or whether to let him enjoy his fantasies.Also, as you can tell I'm writing this anonymously because I'd never want to hurt his feelings, I adore this man. So if you do think it's wrong, then how do I approach the subject?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Something isn't quite right with this guy.
His infatuation with having sex while you're on your period is definitely not healthy.
Other than that, only you can decide your comfort level regarding "fetishes" but this one in particular, if I'm reading your question right, makes you uncomfortable (and rightly so)
Try abstinance and see where the relationship goes.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): People may say 'fantasies are ok and safe' I highly doubt they would say the same if they were to hear the fantasies of rapists and pedophiles. I work in HM prison service, as an assistant psychologist and I can tell you some sick stories about what I have read on file about these so called 'safe' fantasies. Fantasies are fine, if your bf makes you wear a red wig as he likes red heads, or to dress up as a star wars character. But when he wants you to be a bleeding school girl...welll that just makes me wonder what else is going through his head. You KNOW something is wrong...otherwise, you wouldn't be here asking questions. Listen to your gut. Oh and don't let others tell you any fantasy is ok...its not. Usually, certain things start out a fantasy and become a reality and when that fantasy is pedophilia you really dont want that to become a reality.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): I think that you being here in general is an answer in itself. You obviously have a problem with it, and I can see why. I'm glad he's just pretending, but the fact that he would even want to pretend he's "taking your virginity" is where it crosses the line for me, to be quite honest. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but it's my own personal opinion. If he's a nice guy and there are no other problems in the relationship, or if it's generally worth keeping in your eyes, I would approach him and ask him why he likes these things, and how deep it goes. Have a serious conversation with him to try and find out if it's something he's just trying out, or if he has serious issues and would actually act this out or is attracted to young girls. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (23 October 2012):
 I wouldn't be worried by the schoolgirl thing, loads of guys like that outfit.The period thing is a bit strange though, he's my age and I think that his fetish is weird.I'd be very careful with this guy, he's acting out his fantasies, who says they stop at 16/17 year old school girls?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (23 October 2012):
 At your age you are a schoolgirl so whether you dress up as one or not, he is acting out his fetish. I agree with MissTellAll in that this particular one is marginally normal (in that it is a popular if unorthodox one) but I also agree with Staceily and Person12345 that it's offside because it is a desire to not only have sex with a child, but to inflict upon them the pain of 'taking their innocence'.
This particular desire is repulsive to me and I would instantly lose interest and respect for any man I was involved with who admitted to having it. Not only is it a crime, but it is just so...base, weak, predictable. A strong, capable, confident, successful man wants a strong, capable, confident, sucessful woman.
Your boyfriend is a paedophile, not just in thought but in deed. Think about this. He will get older but his fantasy girl won't. One day he will be 60 years old and he will be just as hungry for a schoolgirl then as he is now. How does that picture strike your fancy?
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll  +, writes (23 October 2012):
 This is your sex life and you being happy with it as well as him is what's important.These fetishes seem marginally normal and harmless to me, but if you prefer "ordinary", vanilla sex (which there's nothing wrong with) you need to make that clear to him.There is a bit of an age difference between the two of you but you are an adult in the UK so I'll let it be.Are you worried that these fetishes aren't 'normal' or are you just genuinely uncomfortable with them? I can't tell which it is but I'm leaning toward uncomfortable.You need to decide for yourself if his sexual habits are a deal breaker.Hope this helped and best of luck to the both of you!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 October 2012):
 I agree with Staceily. This is crossing a line. He sought out someone who is young and is the youngest he can legally have sex with. He wants you to dress up like a child and pretend you are bleeding from "first time" sex. I think you should be very careful with this man. There are fetishes and then there are pedophiles.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (22 October 2012):
 If your age is correct then you are at the oldest 17 and he is 23. That in itself is a red flag. Then the fact that he wants you to dress as someone young and pretend to take your virginity kinda makes it weird to me... If it was just a simple outfit then who cares. But to try to have sex on your period to pretend you are a virgin while also wearing a school girl uniform...? It screams pedophilia to me, sorry.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Personally I don't think that it is wrong, many people have fantasies or fetishes that they like to experience with there partner and I think this one is quite a popular one. However you need to remember that you are an equal partner in this relationship and if there is anything that you do not feel comfortable with then you should not do, and if he tries to talk you in to it or make you feel bad for not doing it then it is obvious he does not care about how you feel.
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