A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm looking for help with my sex life in regards to a particular problem I've been having over the past few weeks. Me and my boyfriend have been in an amazing relationship for almost 2 years, and sexually active for just under a year and a half of that. Recently, I have not been getting wet 'down there'. I used to be literally dripping, but now, nothing. I know he's noticed, although he hasn't said anything yet. It's not because I don't find him attractive; I really do. I find myself thinking during sex, and at other random times, how sexy and gorgeous his is. To be honest, I still fancy the pants off him! I am ashamed to admit it (he doesn't know)that when we're apart I have been watching porn. I am scared that this is the reason I no longer get physically aroused when I'm with him. It's like I want sex with him but the natural lubricant just isn't there. I'm really worried that this will have a permanent negative effect on our sex life - have I permanently desensitized myself? Apart from cutting out the porn - which I get extremely wet whilst watching (this makes me think it could be the reason) - what can I do? Please help, I'm desperate. I really love this man.
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lubricant, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Porn isn't the issue here. You are making it an issue. It think it's an issue of being subconsciously bored with your current sex routine.
You know your body reacts to pornographic images. Why not intergrate this into your sex life?
Do you have any idea how many people a guy would kill just to find a woman who was cool with watching porn with him and not just ironically?
This could open up all new avenues of sexual awakening and pleasure in both of you. You can make your own pornos, watch whilst you pleasure each other, dress up as your favourite porn stars and recreate your favourite porn scenes, try out some of the positions and such... the sky's the limit.
Experiment. And a little spice and fire back to a sex life that sorely needs it.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 I don't think it has to do with your porn watching habits, it's not like you have a limited amount of natural lubrication and it's all being consumed by your habit. Have you and your bf's methods changed, maybe you don't engage in foreplay as much? If you do, and you're still turned on like you say, then I wouldn't worry about it, just say i don't know why i've been so dry recently, and buy some lube. it really doesn't have to be interpreted as any kind of lost lust on your part, don't worry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't watched it in 2 weeks and the problem persists.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2010):
 If you think porn is interfering, then stop watching porn and see if it improves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): I had a similar problem in the past. just stop watching porn and everything should go back to normal! porn is very desensitizing.
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