A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I really love him but I am not sure if I am in love with him. When I began dating him I had self esteem issues and now that I am more comfortable with myself, I'm not sure about our relationship. He has always been sweet and loving and is the best man I have ever dated. The problems are that we don't have too much in common, I am very social and he can't even socialize with my friends or coworkers for an hour. When i bring him to events he either leaves or stands there frowning and making everyone uncomfortable. He even left my own birthday party! At home he is super sweet and goofy and fun. We've talked about this numerous times but he has yet to change. Also, I am no longer physically attracted to him and the sex has been unsatisfying for the past 3 years. I'm not sure what to do because He heavily depends on me financially. I feel like if I do break up with him I will not only wreck him emotionally but also leave him in financial trouble. I also know that he loves me soooo incredibly much and I love him too, but I can't handle our differences. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): love is a very misleading emotion. you've probably just formed an attachment and could be mistaking it for something much deeper. everyone has different opinions about love i personally think that love is when you would do anything for this person there number one in your life, and you couldnt imgaine your life without them you don't want to live without that person no matter what, when you can do or say anything or look a complete mess and still feel comfortable and unjudged by this person.
However 4 years is a long time. you and your partner are the only ones that know the real ins and outs of your relationship. maybe you do love him, but in my opinion if you truly do love him the differences wouldnt be a problem you would take him as he is regardless. with differences comes similarities aswell take them into account chances are your never going to find someone that you have everything in common with.
It sounds like that when your together everything is perfect, its just when other people are in the area. if he doesnt socialize well with your friends,work colleages etcc don't bring him with you. i think you need to ask yourself if you really do love him. if your no longer physically attracted him ask yourself why. maybe a break is in order? Give you some time to think consider your options i don't think you should rush into a break up just yet. just a little time appart to discover how you feel should do the trick .. xx
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