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I am inexperienced, did I put her off?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am inexperienced when having sex and need some advice.

1st, I hung out with this girl for a while (one month) and always pleased her. We had sex once and my nerves got to me and I came pretty fast. For about a week we still messed around but I didn't try to have sex with her again. And then she pushed me away and I did not hear from her for a month and a half. Then she gets a hold of me a month and a half later and we hung out. The first night we had some great foreplay but no intercourse due to no protection. about a week later we hung out again and ended up having intercourse which in my opinion was sort of difficult... the penetration did not come easily, is this normal?? either way once penetration was achieved I tried to pace my self and take it slow to make it last but she seemed to want it fast and hard so I eneded up doing that till i came which happened maybe 5 minutes later. After that we finished a movie and she gave me a back rub and then she gave me head later in the night. She then wouldn't let go of me while we slept in my bed. Either way she gets up at 6 to go to work wakes me up and kisses me good bye. Then I do not hear from her, its been 5 days. I sent her a text a couple days after and she didn't reply.

This is weird for me because she would text me everyday after work then the day after we have sex I don't hear from her. What is with this girl??

I have no idea whats going on with this girl

my questions are:

1) Do you think she is avoiding me now because she thinks I am bad in bed?

2.5) Would this be considered bad sex? she didn't run off or anything but now I haven't talked with her. When I think of good sex it would be taking my time going slow enjoying then finishing passionately.

2)When I mentioned penetration was difficult and it took some time, Is that normal? what could I do to make this go more smoothly?

3) should i try and get a hold of her and ask he upfront whats going on?

I am inexperienced with sex and relationships and anybodys advice will help, I want to hear what females and males think alike.

THanks,

~B

View related questions: foreplay, text

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A female reader, AnastasiaRose Canada +, writes (6 December 2010):

the same thing happened to me and it's definitely the inexpierenced in dating/sex that shouldnt be a factor but some people just want the expierenced.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

I would try and relax, you lack of experience shouldn't put anyone off. With the right woman, you can enjoy learning together.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

It was just sort of difficult.. Tab A did not go into slot B right away, there was lots of poking around at first, I have suitable erections and I think she was lubricated enough. She is more experienced than me because she got out of a 2 yr relationship just a couple of months ago.

and I did talk to her recently, she told me "she got my text but forgot to write back, lol" so she didn't lose her phone.. what ever games shes playing sort of ticks me off.. I think I just need to not care nearly as much and find another girl, I'll still keep this one around but she seems unreliable.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

i doubt it was your inexperience that is causing her to act like this. i would say she is interested but playing the games that girls that age play. not on purpose but in her mind she is afraid that you dont like her like she likes you..it sounds like she was very happy to be with you. your lack of self confidence is rather endearing and appealing i would guess.maybe her phone has been lost or something. find a way to contact her and find out for sure. what i see with my children (3 girls and 4 boys) is that they are not attracted to people of the opposite gender who go around bragging about their numerous conquests and their sexual prowess. its just a turn off. im in my 40's and happily married but (perish the thought) if i were to ever enter the dating field again i would not be interested in the "professional" dater. i find a bit of bad boy appealing but also someone who cares aboutthe woman and not just what his sexual accomplishments are. it would feel a bit like dating your gynocologist. lol mal

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

I'm still trying to understand the difficulty with the penetration? Give more details about what exactly you mean? Cause I have a feeling that it might revolve around that. And how experienced is this girl?

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (9 February 2010):

DoubleM agony auntYou first need to explore and practice giving her oral pleasures (cunnilingus). along with G-spot massage. Give her an orgasm or more before you go for intercourse. Trust me (an older man), it keeps a woman quite happy, at least sexually. Read my instructions in the archives for more information.

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