A
female
age
41-50,
*artine
writes: Dear all. I would appreciate your views please. I.ve been seeing a man for just over two years. It has been difficult,and volitile. I really love him,but have had to back off,and am seeing him alot less to avoid getting hurt,and trying to slowly remove myself. Anyway,since i.ve been doing this,he keeps going on about not feeling well from time to time,then last week he told me he thought he was having a stroke,and that he might have to go to the hospital. I rang him a couple of hours later,and he.d been out and about,and had almost forgotten about what he had said. Then a few weeks before that he said he had a really bad back. He jogs everyday,eats well,and is generally healthy,so it made no sense. Anyway, I met up with him this weekend to talk,and he said he had no idea how he was going to get me out of his system,and i suggested we go no contact for 3 months,and he said even after a year he would not be over it. The thing is, i don.t really want to end it,but he won.t buck up his ideas and treat me better. I love him,but feel emotionally trapped. He is 40years old.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dingalo +, writes (16 May 2014):
Hi natalie, its lucy. Can you add me as your friend? X
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 May 2013):
Hi
Good to hear, have a great summer
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A
female
reader, Martine +, writes (17 May 2013):
Martine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Oldbag. I have backed off and am not taking his calls and am starting to look and feel better already. :o)
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (13 May 2013):
Hi
You have a volatile relationship which you are sick of. How long he takes to get over you splitting up is his problem.
He could have had a bad back, it's not uncommon with active people, just general wear and tear can cause one.Thats not the problem here though, you want him to 'treat you better' - he has had 2 years to prove himself and doesn't meet your standards.
So, if you have spelt out what bothers you,he still hasn't changed, you have had enough of it all, then finish it.
No contact is the best way, until you are over it, it may take 3,6 or 12 months, just be strong and stick with it.
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