A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:we go to diffrant schools and he got a second girlfriend so that he will fit in then told me he wouldnt do aything with her but i found out he made out with her i love him and dont wanna break up with him cause i know hes having family problems right now but he keeps getiing so defensive and i dont know what to do! i love him alot i really do and he feels the same but again family trouble and school are really messing him up and i get the blame i cant handle that but i know its a faze but what should i do i tried talking to him but he hates the phone but when we did get together his friend was there the only time i talked to him all i got was "nothings going to happen to us im just really stressed nothing will happen" is this good enough or what? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Just let things continue on as they are. Let the man have TWO girlfriends. This would be a great thing for him, and an unselfish act by you. If anything you might consider joining in and letting him make out with the both of you. :)
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (9 September 2007):
Yeah, get rid of him. No one gets a second girlfriend just to fit in. Not to make excuses for him, but if he is having a bunch of family problems, he probably doesn't know how to deal with it and is acting out in weird ways. Perhaps it makes him feel better that he has someone close to him at school since you can't be there. But realize that is NOT your fault and that is a crappy thing to do and you shouldn't put up with it. Why should you get such an unfair end of the deal? And how is he/how can he blame you for his family problems?
Trying to be there for him is a noble thing to do, but he shouldn't be doing things that would obviously hurt you. If you were having problems with your family, you wouldn't be going out looking for a second boyfriend and blaming him for something out of his control, would you?
You should let him go. If you find that you absolutely cannot at this time, at the very least, make it clear that he has to decide. It is either you or her. If he chooses her, it may hurt a lot, but you know that you deserve better than him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): You don't mind him having a second girlfriend? Just so he can 'fit in' you don't go out with someone to 'fit in'.
I say dump him because if he's like this now think what he'll be like in a year! You deserve better hun and he really is a creep.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Never play SECOND! No woman deserves that I know it going to be hard for you to let him go, but you need to live and let go....
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