A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend,we started dated 2 yrs ago,at first things were not that great,there was no trust, we loved each other but he still had his girlfriend and that ruined our relationship because sometimes she will call and i will get jelouse but i never confronted him until we talked about it,it even got to an extent where i cheated on him twice and did not feel bad because i knew he was doing the same thing right now things seem to be fine,i am sure he does not have another woman but i dont know how to trust him completely and i have recenlty moved to another city which makes things even worse, i love him but have problems trusting him. He has changed a lot but a part of me tells me its too late.I am confused Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (15 May 2008):
I think you have to "start over" with him. He needs to trust you, too! You said you cheated on him twice, was it two one-night stands or what? That wasn't very good, either!! You both have to start taking the relationship seriously and if you really love each other, then there is hope. But truly, the Aunts are right in calling it a big mess! Perhaps because you are young and needing to grow in maturity? You said he has changed a lot, hopefully this means for the better!
As I said, you need to go back to "Square One" and slowly build, actions speak louder than words, and if he feels strongly about you, I would say perhaps it's not too late.
He should've ended it with his girlfriend before starting with you, you definitely need to talk because if you want to be exclusive with him, he should want to be the same with you.
Good luck, and keep DearCupid posted!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Just walk away from this sorry mess. Sorry to sound so blunt but i have to say that it didnt start too good did it? He had a gf when you met, so why were you with him, i am confused, or have i read this wrong. Correct me if wrong. You two shouldnt of been together anyway, so what is there to hanker after. He wasnt yours to start with then you cheated on him, what a mess. Just walk away with your head held high and forget all about the past. Make a new start and meet someone who is competely free and single and yours for the taking.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 If he is the one for you , everything would fall into place.
If you have those feelings, then he is not the right one.
Only time will tell.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 Trust is an essential part of any relatonship. Without it, things do not look good.
However, you need to learn that if you want your partner to be trustworthy, then he should be able to trust you as well - which means NOT cheating on him, REGARDLESS of whether 'he was doing the same thing'.
Two wrongs do not make a right, as the saying goes.
I'd recommend you get together and have it out - Both come clean about any infidelity, figure out the reasons /why/ it happened, find where the trust issues stem from, and both explain what you actually /want/ from the relationship.
And accept the fact that sometimes these things come to an end.
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