A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am sure that this is a popular question, however I just can't seem to find posts about it.I am dating a guy that is devoted to me, but has a huge history of dating and ex's.He has told me that he is committed to me and that I am the only one, and that he wants to spend his whole life with me, and has finaly found true love.I sometimes feel insecure when he talks about ex's as I know he has dated many many many girls, and he has the reputation from a few years back for being quiet the ladies man, and being "loose"This has made me paranoid as I feel insecure as I think he has dated more people than I want to know.. and out of those who knows how many he slept with.Am I just being silly, and how can I let this not bother me as every now and then he refers to his past or his ex's and there are new names that I didn't know of that make the list seem even longer... I am not talking small numbers like 10-20ppl.. it's much much more.I feel uncomfortable when he talks about his past and referring to himself as a slut and loving it and he did this and did that.. I block that information out.Is this something that I must just ignore and accept as part of what he is today and be happy that he is with me, but how can I get the hurt and sadness to pass in knowing that I am dating someone that has probably dated more people than I even can count?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): I like a guy with a past because he knows how to please me, is comfortable around a normal (not porn star) woman's body and knows exactly what he wants in a partner, which he's found in you. Also, you can be sure he'll never wonder what else is out there, because he knows exactly.
If you can see it like that, you'll be fine, but if not there could be problems for you and him.
A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (17 September 2010):
 You have to talk to him about it and tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him talking about his past.
There isn't much that you can do about the way you feel. I know what it's like as I feel the same about my boyfriend except that he's only had a handful of girlfriends.
A lot of people will say to tell yourself that he's with you for a reason and that the past is the past or whatever else. Thing is though, you can tell yourself that as much as you like, it most likely won't change anything.
In my case, I knew about his past before we started dating and at first I was fine with it. Now it kills me inside everytime I think about it. Most of the time I try to ignore those thoughts even though it's not easy.
You just have to make the choice if you can deal with those feelings or if it's something that you can't look past.
Just know that you're not the only one to feel this way. And if you ever need to talk about it, feel free to message me.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (17 September 2010):
Well, the easy solution would be to ask him not to talk about his exes and past sex life with you so much. Just tell him you feel uncomfortable with hearing it, and would just like to enjoy being in the present. As for the hurt and sadness, whenever you think of that, just think that: this all happened before you met, you guys are in a happy relationship right now, and that he's with you not any of them.
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