A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, from day 1 we both knew it was serious and agreed this was it together forever etc. We have talked about marriage and babies etc. Thing is its always in the future and even though I have my own house, where he stays 6 days a week he wont move in officially 'yet'. At 32 I have got to the stage where I can't play 'boyfriend and girlfriend' any longer but my ultimatums aren't working and he wont move in till 'he's ready' and he can't say when. I love him but don't want to sacrifice my chances of kids on him maybe never being ready for anything. Should I hold on a bit longer and hope for the best, trying not to let it get me down (which it is) or should I call it quits and see who else is out there? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Anonymous female replier doesn't even sound as if she has read the question - don't give up your day job!! Honey you know what you need to do and only you know him well enough to decide, trusts you instincts and be strong!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 October 2007):
 I think he will never give you what you want. I don't think he really wants a serious relationship with you, let alone kids. I wouldn't keep trying.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): See who else is out there,because you may find someone you love,rather than someone who`s simply prepared to marry you. With what i`m reading,i`m not suprised he`s apprehensive about marrying you.
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A
male
reader, Memorize  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 hello
well i dont have much to say as im a little younyer than you but advice is advice.
what i have to say about having kids (i got 1 by the way) is that women have it phyically as men got it more mentally. what i mean is that the men in this problem are going to ask themselves can i support this child? what if things dont work out? talk to him about what he thinks and if hes worried about it.
about moving in, sounds like he has commintment issuses. ask him if he is ok with you about the relationship as a whole or maybe he has a hidden agenda...i dont know.
but best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (5 October 2007):
 You have a biological clock, he does not.
Call it quits and find someone that wants you enough...if he hasn't married you and made you a mother by this point, he does not want to. If you pressure him into it, he will just abandon you later. Drop him now.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Hi Dear
I can imagine how you feel and I wouldn't know how I exactly would react in your situation. It has been 4 and 1/2 years. That is quite a long time. I would consider him as playing games with you and you have a right to know where you are. So, I would tell him. But I think, it is not a good idea to put the screws on him. This will surely make him feeling uncomrotable and it will be harder for him to really commit to you. Hope you will find a way!
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