A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need advice urgently.....I need to break this down because its a long story. I was seeing a guy on and off for 6 years. He had never really been particularly nice to me during the period and it was more off than on. However towards the end of last year I bumped into him and he seemed desperate to see me again, even seemed like he was ready for a relationship. We spent alot of time together, fell in love, moved in with eachother, he seemed to be the person I'd always wished he could be. We went on holiday but due to bickering over the course of the holiday I moved out in a hasty decision to show him I was serious about our bickering.I attempted to make up with him a few days later but he showed no interest and almost went back to the nasty person I'd been seeing on and off for the 6 years. After being witness to this I decided to change my number and not contact him again. A week later he contacted my mum. I got in touch with him and I've been spending time with him over the past 3 weeks, I cant help that I still love him. However, during these 3 weeks I've found messages on an old phone that have confirmed that he was sleeping with girls at the house, I've seen him quickly deleting text messages, and today I've found out that the crazy girl that knocked at his house was someone he has been seeing on and off for 6 years and that she was pregnant by him at one point. I'm not even back with him for some reason although I'm there with him everyday staying at his house and we practically act like a couple he doesn't want us to have that label and either avoids the conversation if I bring it up or gets angry. At this point after everything he has put me through I want to know where I stand.....he still can't even give me that!Please give me some advice someone.....2 months after our break up I went to his house (the hosue we shared together) only to have a girl bashing at his door. This made me realise that girls had been coming to his house since I'd left and was proof of why he was mistreating me
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Hooboy, Smiles is sooo right here. You know what you need to do; this man is not good for you or your self-esteem. I would end contact with him as soon as you can as I do not think he will ever be the right man for you. Being nasty, cheating on you, getting other girls pregnant (exposing you and them to STDs and unwanted parenthood by unprotected sex? YUCK.), combine that with his unwillingness to put a 'label' on your relationship. The label should be 'past sell by date'...
I know that 6 years is a lot of history, but don't compound this by adding a few more years of misery, mistrust, worries, upset, etc. to your precious time here on earth.
Where do you stand with him? I have absolutely no idea. But you know something, I don't really think it matters what he thinks, because you should get out of there for your own sake, sanity, and medical safety. He doesn't need any long explanations, just tell him that you've decided to move on.
Take care, I really do hope that you realize that you're wasting your time with this man.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): You KNOW what you must do; but you probably just need to hear it; hopefully then it will be easier to do what you know you have to do.
You have to MOVE ON; it is not even worth trying to resolve the issues; if after 6 years, also now the last couple of months you did not work things out; I mean really; you DESERVE better;
THis guy have been cheating; you will never trust him; he treats you badly;
This is not the kind of life you want, there is no happy future here;
Don't waste any more time; no matter what he is saying; break all contact; if he calls your mom; ignore the messages;
You deserve somebody that will treat you with LOVE and RESPECT;
DON'T let this guy waste any more of your time;
So it will hurt a little, but you are hurting now too; get over it and MOVE ON;
Be strong; Best wishes
...............................
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