A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I love my girlfriend she is a pritty shy girl to be honest. her ex boy friend treated her badly but was more advancde then me , i dont no when i should make the move to have sex with her and how? i dont want to make a move then get rejected i would look so stupid what shall i do.?
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female
reader, Jia  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 If you really love her you can wait for her, however if you really want to have sex with her you have to be subtle about it. Considering her previous relationship, it's probably going to take a significant amount of love and understanding for her to take the next step with you. Remember overall to be patient, it's not all about you, she's the one who has to make the decision in the end.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, RawrrJoJoBabii  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Since she's shy you really need to worry about her. If you love her alot you should maybe suggest it but don't put any type of pressure on her to do it. She might not be ready and if thats the case you absolutely must be ok with that and wait until she's absolutely sure that she's ready. If you don't she could feel very pressured and may not even want to be with you at all. Ask her how she feels about it and take into consideration her feelings and if she's 100% secure with herself and having sex.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Well the key question is how long have you guys being going out together. If it is just a very short period then you will need to wait a while.
But with her past problmes, she probably is very nervous about sex. What you need to do is show her how different you are to her previous boyfriend.
Show a lot of affection towards her, buy her flowers, take her on romantic dinners...if you love her show it to her.
If you are just looking to get your end off she will pick up on this and see you as no different to her ex.
Sex will come eventually and probably at the most unexpected time, so take it slowly, and if after a while you still have trouble being intimate, then you can broach the subject with her. She may be a lot more affected by her previous boyfriend than you think.
Sex is important in a relationship, it is the ultimate loving act which a couple can share. I would start off with simply holding her hand when you go out. Give her a big warm hug when you part and move on to a bit of smooching after a while. But don't get carried away, you can sense when a girl wants to go farther, the kisses become more passionate and the cuddles last longer and are more tender.
Basically take your time, if you are the real deal she will notice this and eventually accept you as a giving considerate person who respects her,not somebody who just wants to use her for sex.
good luck champ!
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (9 July 2008):
 I see this a lot, it's weird because I never had that problem before.
When I'm with a girl, I'm not looking for sex it just happens in a moment of passion.
If she's shy, Id suggest not to do a thing until she gets fully comfortable with you.
My first girlfriend was like that, I would have waited for ever for her since I loved her. One day, it happened and it was just plain awesome.
The "Lets have sex now" thing ain't my style, I'm more of the "moment of passion" kind of guy. Hope that I was still able to help you a bit though.
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