A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:l been with my boyfriend for 5 years and our relationship was great. We are the same age. He loves me so much and serious about our relationship. He would do anything to make me happy. But now he has changed. Its because of me too. Its my fault. I've made some mistakes to him. He proposed to marry me before but I told him I can't because of his living situation and I realize that's the biggest mistake I've made.We broke up month ago and he changed much until I feel strange with him. He got tattoo and smoke. Before he didn't and I wish he doesn't do this.Don't get me wrong.. I want him to erase his tattoo because my parents hates tattoo and it will make them upset. I'm so stressed out but I can't tell my family about this since my dad has health issues. I also didn't like him with tattoo. I wish he can be like him before..How can I pursue him to remove his tattoo? I've told him about this but he said he's not going to erase it. Every time I think about his tattoo I get panic and upset. Please help me.. How can I told him? I love him and I wish he is without his tattoo.. Please give me some advice and don't get me wrong... Thanks..
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (21 September 2014):
 When you split up for a bit he spread his wings, did things HE wanted to do. Maybe he needed to be himself and felt he couldn't ever with you?
Just because you and your parents don't like tattoos doesn't mean he cannot have one!
He's a man, it's his body, if you and your parents hate tattoos - that's your choice. He happens to like them and has one now.
If you don't like him as he is then perhaps you need to find a new boyfriend who will make you happy and impress your parents.
Think long and hard before you make a choice about him and what's important to you though
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 September 2014):
 Do you know why people get tattoos?
For the most part people who get a tattoo (or 20) do it FOR THEMSELVES. Because it gives them a sense of joy, pride, a sense of self (this is who I am) and some use them to get a sense of closure, or to deal with a loss. Getting a tattoo is VERY liberating and VERY personal.
He didn't get it to SPITE you or dishonor your family. He did for HIM. And if you CAN NOT understand or respect that, then maybe he isn't for you.
You think he is less of a man because of the tattoo? You think the tattoo changed him ? Because it really doesn't. HE is who HE is, tattoo or not.
UNLESS the tattoo is on his forehead or somewhere you can see when he is dressed, then don't TELL your family. It's not their business what he DOES to his body. Not really yours either.
Just like HE can't tell you to NOT get your ears pierced for earring, you can't tell him NOT to get tattoo.
You don't have to like tattoos, so don't get any on YOUR body.
I think you should let him go, so he can find someone who sees him for who he is, not for WHO you THINK he should be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2014): He's a grown man and you can't tell him what to put on his body.
He has changed and he isn't who he used to be. You liked who he used to be, not who he is now. So your better choice is to leave him, get over him, and find someone else with no tattoos. You'll be miserable until you do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2014): He said he's not going to, so that's that. You either can accept it as part of him or you can't.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (20 September 2014):
 You can't make him get rid of his tattoo. Its his body and he can do what he wants with it. You either have to accept it or not be with him. You should either love someone as they are, or not be with them. It never works to try and change a person unless they WANT to change. He doesn't.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 September 2014):
You can't. It's his body, not yours. You don't get to tell him whether or not he can have a tattoo.
Either leave him alone about it or find a man who doesn't have one.
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