A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm having a problem of rather or not I should move back home or stay living together with my boyfriend. We have been together for years and this is the first place we have ever lived other than home and we have lived almost a year. I love him and couldn't imagine being with someone else but I just don't know if I can live with him anymore. We have three roommates, one is friend from high school and her new boyfriend and the other is a mutual friend of mine and my boyfriends whom is just "temporarily" staying in our living room. My friend and her boyfriend cause us so many arguments because they simpky don't pull there weight around here and even though I agree with my boyfriend I still feel caught in the middle and them moving out seems to never be an option. It always just cause fights when its brought up. The friend is a cool guy and I have no issues with him other than my boyfriend spends almost all his time with him. He's always around us no matter what were doing. It almost makes me feel like I have two boyfriends, I even cook dinner specifically for both of them every night. I just want to have alone time with my boyfriend but its like it can never happen except for when were about to go bed. I just feel so pushed to the side. I'm usually either listening to them talk and attempting to join in or watching them play a video game or were ALL watching a movie. Its driving me crazy and I don't know what to do and don't want to say anything becaus e were trying to help this person get on there feet and without us he would have no where and really no one and I don't want him to feel like he has to leave. My boyfriend and I have already fought and about him not spending enough alone time and he said he'd do better but really hasn't. And my birthday was recently and he had told and told me the present he was gona get me cause it was what I wanted and the time came and he gave me the money for it and then in the same day asked to borrow over have of it and I have yet to get present even though I bought him his a month early cause he wanted it so bad. Its just rediculous to me to be with someone almost six years and not get them a gift and say your trying..I feel after this long the trying part for this kinda thing should be over. I feel like my only option is to just move back home and then go from there but he has said he didn't wana be together if we couldn't live together so I'm just so lost. And as of right now I told him to get out because of a huge fight over basically nothing that just got way to blown up and I truely regret it now. I feel awful because we both got so mad for nothing but lving here with these people is so stressful and he's barely having any money because no one else knows how to pay bills except us. I just need some advice please. I don't want to lose him but I want things to be better like before we lived together or before all the room mates. Thanks in advance and sorry it was so long just needed to get it all o
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male
reader, steve_g  +, writes (22 September 2011):
you could almost be my ex gf, we have had alot of problems in the house we live in due to housemates not pulling their weight and not paying bills and also eating our food not cleaning up etc. she wanted a break e few weeks ago and moved in with her nan for a week she then come back because she said she mssed me and couldnt stand the crying anymore. this lasted 2weeks and she was gone. i then got a letter saying how she felt and she says everyday felt like groundhog day and she didn't think we were going anywhere, she said she thinks she has felt like this for a while but didn't realise untill she come back. the same old arguements and it got on top of her she now says that the love she once had for me isn't there anymore and it is over between us. i suggest talking to your boyfriend saying exactl how you feel and tell him that you need to move back home untill you can be together on your own before it really does drive you apart. the key here is communication which is where ex failed she never told me how she felt and it was too late for her. i do still have hope but this could be wishful thinking on my part she seems to have made it clear to me. i really hope that it works out for you x :) chin up
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your advice. You couldn't have said it better. I agree that we need our relationship to breathe. I really just need to talk to him about all this and hopefully for once he will see where I'm coming from.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
There is need for clear rules when living with other people. Who cleans the house on which days, who cooks on which days, how much everyone is supposed to contribute towards the bills, etc. If this is not done, only few people are stuck doing it and they have resentment in their hearts while the others are comfortable and think everything is alright.On the issue of your bf, i think your relationship needs to breathe. You're too stressed with what's going on in the house and i'd advise you to go home coz when you're stressed everything is a reason to start a fight. Although he says it wont work if you leave, this might actually save your relationship. You need to get refreshed rather than force yourself get through each day unhappily.He's too used to you therefore taking you for granted. He needs to miss you, get it in his head again that he's your bf, start listening to you and priotising you.
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