A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 62, my domestic partner is 70.When we first got together about 7 years ago, she was very romantic and passionate. As the years went by (most recently the past year) she became less and less interested in any passion at all. She doesn't like to kiss passionately any more, and she has told me that although she loves me very much, 'sex doesn't interest me any more'. In fact, she has told me that she 'hates it' now. For a woman of her age, she is very beautiful and in my eyes very sexy. She admits that she is not aging gracefully and she finds faults and flaws in every part of her body, which I myself cannot see. We debate over this constantly, but she never believes me. I tell her every single day how beautiful and sexy she is, and how deeply I love her but to no avail.Occasionally, I can break down her inhibitions enough to be able to have sex, but that is very rare. I have always been the same with her, I give her whatever she wants or needs but it's never enough for some reason. She is an excellent cook and maintains our home to perfection. She even admits that when she's in the kitchen she's in another world. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do to 're-kindle' any kind of desire in her.I am still extremely attracted to her, and although she's intimated that maybe I should 'leave her', or 'find someone to satisfy me'(Even that I know she really doesn't mean it) I could never do that, as I love her that much.Hopeless Romantic
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): why not tell her you think you are too damned ugly for sex.
Tell her how your knees look odd and you think you have lost the oomph!
You may find a new confidence in her as she forgets what she thinks are her ugly points and wonders why you think you are less than alpha male!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 August 2016):
 You sound like a loving and understanding husband and I can understand that you have needs sexually as well. Maybe treat her to a romantic weekend away. Treat her to some spa treatments, get her relaxed and maybe light some candles put on some music and share a bottle of wine, run her a bath. She is insecure in herself, you could tell her she is sexy until you are green in the face, but she still does not believe it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2016): Your last paragraph is so cute and I think she's really lucky to have you. It could have something to do with her hormones, but there could be something you two aren't talking about...do you have any issues that need to be worked through outside of sex? I'm not saying she's withholding, but that her anger could make her not want to be intimate.
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A
female
reader, magicpianos  +, writes (29 August 2016):
 This can happen to women at any age, but at your partner's age in particular, low libido can usually be explained by a drastic change in hormones. In other words, it's probably got nothing to do with you and everything to do with something physical that's going on for her.I would try to avoid "debating" things with her regarding her body. Continue to tell her every day that she's beautiful, sexy, etc. but don't engage in debating. My husband and I get into this sometimes and it's very frustrating. As women, we are conditioned to be critical of our bodies and constantly comparing them to some unattainable standard. It's something we are all trying to work through in some way on a daily basis, and debating with us doesn't usually help.The lack of sexual desire, if it's not coming from hormonal issues, could be coming from a discomfort with or disconnection from her body. In other words, if she doesn't FEEL sexy herself, she's not going to want to be sexy with you. Unfortunately, this is likely a trial-and-error game, that will require oodles of patience on your part.Keep doing what you've been doing -- encouraging her, complimenting her -- and be very attentive to little clues she might drop that could indicate what's happening, and go from there.Lastly, if all else fails, just talk to her. Tell her, point blank, how you feel, how you desire her and love her. When she's hard on herself, try telling her that there's no way in hell you would let someone else say such terrible things about her, so why would you let HER say such terrible things about herself? This was the thing that ultimately broke down my defences with my husband and led to a huge increase in my own libido.In the end, good things come to those who wait. :)
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (28 August 2016):
First i will to begin to answer this question on a POSITIVE NOTE and say..Love is important at all ages..But people be it men/women see Love in a different way.This is a most difficult situation for you and not easy to deal with.From your letter you seem to be a very kind,understanding man,and know what you are doing is the right thing to do,and continue to tell her she is beautiful and sexy.Perhaps she has some blockage about sex and age[70] and is so aware of the changes in her body that she fears you will notice the changes..However you will need help with this situation,the sooner the better.Would you have an indept chat with her and ask her to go with you to talk to a counsellor that maybe able to help.I Uunderstand your sexual needs are not being met at the moment and not not easy.But do coninue and LOVE WILL WIN IN THE END.KIND REGARDS.NORA B.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 August 2016):
 Maybe it's time to trade her in on a newer model?
Good luck....
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