A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dont know where to start. I met this woman 8 years ago, and we are as close as ever. The problem is she is married and lives on the other side of the country.I am in love with her.. Always have been.. probably always will be. She knows i love her.. but she doesnt know how i really feel. I have never told her. I am afraid to tell her. Mainly because she is my best friend and if she decides that she cant handle what I have to say. I truly believe she is suppost to be with me. she is my heart, my soul, my everything. she makes me smile she is all i think about. What should I do.. Please help me.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 April 2013):
 You met her how? ONLINE? Have you ever met her in person?
You are in love with her. She does not know you are in love with her but she knows you love her is what you are trying to say. Trust me I’m betting she knows how you feel and it does not matter to her. How does she know you love her if you have never told her? What exactly HAVE YOU TOLD HER?
You can believe all you want that she is supposed to be with you. She lives 3,000 miles away and is married to another man. She does not love you or feel about you the way you feel about her.
I am wondering if you use this LOVE you have for a woman 3,000 miles away, married to another man, unaware of your feelings, to avoid living a real life and risking rejection by women who would be available to you for a real relationship? Are you hiding from life behind your love of this woman?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013): Express your feelings to her but don't push her to leave her husband. Rather just give her all the information about how you feel and let her decide what she will do, if she will turn you down or decide if she will leave her husband. Contrary to what other people think, I don't think its wrong of you to express your feelings to her after all she has free will as an autonomous being she can choose what to do. Her decision is hers to mske and her responsibility. I just see it as giving information. Even if she turns you down it will help you get some closure and move on rather than forever wondering "what if ".
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (9 April 2013):
 "She knows i love her.. but she doesnt know how i really feel."Well, which one is it? Just so you know, most women have a pretty good sense when a man is completely smitten and in love with them. It's painfully obvious. Chances are, she does know already and chooses to ignore it. And even if she didn't know, it wouldn't really change anything. Why? At the end of the day, she chose to marry the man she is currently with. You're the only one that is aching and obsessing. You are right, she is in your heart, your soul and your everything....but those are just YOUR feelings. Just because you feel that way does not mean, she ought to be your partner. Logically it makes no sense. That's like me saying, I know Johnny Depp should be with me, because he is in my heart and soul and he means everything to me. You're entitled to feel whichever way, but you also need to realize that the other party has feelings of their own independent of yours.The best thing for you is to cut this woman from your life. You don't want another 5 years to go by....5 years of you just pining for her and loving her. You're not giving yourself the chance to meet any other women and this you're perpetuating the same cycle of misery and loneliness.
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