A
male
age
30-35,
*ichael Bo Andersen
writes:HelloI'm in love with a girl who allso was in love with me. I invited her over to my house while i had my best friend home for a couple of days. After the first day i felt she got less interested in me and started flirting with my best friend. The day she left my place and went home (after 3 days) she wrote me a message on my cellphone(mobilephone) where she told me that she loved him and not me. What should i do? Deep inside I feel hurt, and I'm angry at my best friend, but I don't want to lose my friend. I still love her, and I'll try and hold a low profile, i want both of them to be happy, but it realy hurts inside me, I think about her every day, and I spend most of my time with my friend.Any help would realy be appreciatedThanksA very sad Michael Bo Andersen
View related questions:
best friend, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Michael Bo Andersen +, writes (24 March 2008):
Michael Bo Andersen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Brea-xoxo. I Appreciate your answer, I think I'm getting slightly over the pain as it is right now. My lifes got realy booring since i stopped talking to my friend, so I'm thinking about re-establishing contact to him.
You guys have helped me alot.
Thank you
Michael
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): oops, i just realized you are only 15.dont let a girl ruin your life at 15.i had a cousin who shot himself because of a girl.don't let that happen to yourself.your friend i'm sure would pick you over some chick that blew you off.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): well, first off. if you guys were girls i would quote gretchen weiners off of the movie mean girls, and say "Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism."
but, that doesnt work here =(
i think if you love her, make her know how much you like her.
if she still doesnt understand what she did was wrong- she doesnt deserve your love.
your best friend really, well, bros over hoes, but that doesnt even work.
its not his fault she hit on him, unless he was flirting back. but even though it will hurt if they get together, just think- if you cant have her be glad shes happy still.
97% of the worlds population waits for the person that is right for that 3% but is completely wrong for them.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I think there are some good answers here, and many choices to consider.
I would suggest playing the man outside, and move on. At your age, friends is the best thing to have, and not someone closer, and I say this because of the normal lack of experience we all have at this age, along with hormones that make us feel certain ways we can't control.
You should be more concern with your immediate family, helping and participating with fmily needs. You should be using this time to study well in school so you can attend a higher form of school latter and get a degree. During this time, you will find another girl that will be your one and only, but don't rush it, but don't avoid it either, let it be natural, but don't let it overwhelm you until your education is done.
...............................
A
male
reader, Michael Bo Andersen +, writes (21 March 2008):
Michael Bo Andersen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the answers, how can I end it once and for all with her? She feels sad and confused for letting me down, - and yes I tried to talk to him, he didn't have a crush on her at first, but ended up with being obsessed by her. From my point of view i cannot see an end to this. but i will as you guys suggested, try and wait alittle longer and see how this ends. My friends comment to it was "Too bad" which I don't see as a friendly reply to my plea of explenation.Sorry for the less emotional language, but my english isn't very goodThank you Michael
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Michael, you use the word "love" when I really think you mean "crush". Sorry, I do not mean to make light of your feelings, but the girl in question is obviously very young as are you...and your friend. First, don't blame your friend for her flirting with him. You invited them both, remember? And, do you even know if he likes her? Have you talked to him about it? It is no reason to lose a friendship. If it had not been him, it would certainly have been someone else. And isn't she being a little shallow to text you and say what she did rather than telling you to your face? I think so. She was obviously not for you, so forget it. Young friend, girls are endless, especially at your age. You will have friendships and crushes in abundance. Just be glad you can end this one so quickly. Now move on... A real girlfriend is out there waiting for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 It is time to seek new friends.
It is either you get over the hurt of losing your g/f or
get over the hurt of losing your best friend.
If you still want to be his friend, then you will have to
rationalize the hurt of losing your g/f.
Tell yourself that your friend is a better man and deserved her more than you.
For your best friends sake , you will make that sacrifice and wish them well.
She chose him and you will abide by her decisions sportingly.
Since you value his friendship , then you should not feel hurt anymore.
It will eventually go away and you will be fine again.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I think you're doing the right thing. And right is never easy.
A person cannot help who the care about. It might just be that she met your friend and ended up falling for him more than you. This doesn't make her a bad person. It just made her tactless.
And you said it yourself. Both of them deserve to be happy, even if it isn't with you. If you really care for the girl, then the most noble and right thing you can do is step back and let her be happy.
You're still bery young. There will be plenty of opportunities for love and relationships that come around. So why don't you try talking to some other girls and see how things go? In the end it might help you move on.
But good on you for trying not hold a grudge over this. You'd be suprised how many people, even adults like myself, have trouble letting go of these things.
Don't torture yourself.
All The Best
Flynn 24
...............................
A
male
reader, Michael Bo Andersen +, writes (21 March 2008):
Michael Bo Andersen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know what to do, he has been my best friend for the past 9 years, and being 15 thats over 50% of my life, I dont want to break my friendship with him, but when i spend time with him i feel more hurt then when i'm alone.. Will this eventualy go away? I realy feel confused.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (21 March 2008):
How can you still be friends with your best friend when he has stolen your love?
As your best friend , he should not have taken your g/f from you.
Best friends don't do that.
...............................
|
