A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated this girl 3 years ago while at the same time i dated her best friend. she was deeply in love with me, however I wasn't. Two years when by, we emailed once a week, and when i returned home from an assignment oversees, i saw her once again. She had a boyfriend at the time, but we still continued where we left off, we stopped talking for about six months, i dated another girl, and when that finished i contacted her again. By this time she had a new boyfriend and a steady relationship. However after 4 years of knowing each other we couldn't keep our hands off each other, she told me she loved me and i expressed my love for her. However she said she couldn't just leave the other guy since she loves him. We see each other at least once a week. We act as a normal couple, but during the rest of the week she's with him. We celebrated her birthday a few months ago, and nothing that anyone got her compared to the special things that I did for her, she told me she loved me and that she hopes I will always be in her life. Now I know how she felt 3 years ago. I love her, I cant live with out her, and neither can she without me. But she wont leave the boyfriend.She talks to me more than she talks to him. I don't know what to do. She's also my best friend. we know everything about each other and I just cant seem to let her go. We both have tried and we can't. I don't want to ask her to choose, since that should be something she should do on her own. But should I give her more time, or should i just move on. But unless i terminate all communication with her, that will never be possible. Help!
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male
reader, morris_say  +, writes (13 October 2010):
If a girl leaves her boyfriend for you, then she is more likely to then leave you for somebody else.
At the moment she has the best of both worlds and she's probably enjoying it too, who could honestly say that they wouldn't be flattered having 2 people love them at the same time..? I'm guessing that's why she won't leave her boyfriend.
Some things for you to think about:
Do you only love her because she loves you? There's no shame in that, a lot of people do it, but one day you might meet someone else who you love more.
Sometimes the excitement of 'forbidden love' masks the fact that in reality it wouldn't be as good. Why didn't you love her 3 years ago, what's changed?
Whatever you decide to do make sure you don't have any regrets and be honest with her and hope that she's being honest with you too.
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