A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friend and I are close, and we are gradually getting closer to being in a relationship, but we both are hesitating. I'm afraid. I love her and I know she doesn't feel the same back. I know she only likes me. I don't want to pressure her but as we get closer and closer it's become more difficult to restrain. How do I let her know that I do want a relationship without making her feel as if she has to feel the same as me? And how can I do this in a way that makes sure she's certain of how she feels before we get any closer? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you
A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (7 February 2010):
 JazzedUp's advice is really nice. I have to agree from speaking from personal experience. Since she's your friend she'll understand if you just tell her.
The truth is you won't know for sure until you walk through the door. So you can't know how she feels until you tell her how you feel. That's totally okay though. That's what you should do.
IF you want her to be comfortable, then it's up to you to stay cool and still be kind and loving to her even if she's not interested that way.
If she tells you she's not interested, you could even say to her I had a feeling you weren't but I still needed to tell you because it's how I feel. This shows that you still see things from her view and are considerate, but that's not gonna change who you are. Oddly enough, doing that might even maek her like you because of the emotional intelligence and courage it would demonstrate on your part.
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A
male
reader, JazzedUp +, writes (7 February 2010):
 This type of thing, you must be careful in. First, you must prepare yourself for the number one thing that happens to a lot of people who fall in love with their best friend: she only likes you as a friend. This can seem worse than just getting turned down. I know. But you should still tell her all the same. Keeping it inside and not knowing will only lead to decay inside of you. Just be honest, sincere and attentive when you tell her. And bear in mind that she may only see you as a friend. That is a possibility. Hope this helps!
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