A
male
age
30-35,
*ove_hurts_the_heart
writes:This is still about the same girl. One year later she is still with the same guy.... This summer i called her because one of our friends said that she wanted to talk, when i called her she wasn't even the one to answer the phone, it was the friend that told me to call. I soon found out that the phone was on speaker, and she(love)was in the background crying. When i realized that it was her crying I asked what was going on. Our friend told me that she(love) was having trouble with her BF. She then procedeeded to tell me that they were going to ask me some questions, I didn't complain. The questions that they asked me were extremely personal and revealing(most were pertaining to how I felt about 'her'; how much I liked her, how I saw her, how I would describe her, etc.). I answered all the questions honestly. After they were done asking the questions, I asked our friend to take off the speaker-phone, and let me talk to her(love). When I finally got her on private I asked her why they had called me. She told me that it was because she knew that I would answer honestly. This still wasn't good enough so I asked her why she needed somebody to answer those questions, she said that it was to make her feel better. She also said that I HAD made her feel better. The next day I called her and asked if she was okay. She said that she was fine and that her and her BF had made-up, this crushed me. After I got off the phone with her I was extremely depressed(still am). For the rest of the day I just sat around. The nextday day she called me and asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was fine. She must have heard the depression in my voice because she asked what was wrong. After a minute I spilled my heart to her... I told her everything. When I was done we were both crying. She said that she was so sorry, that she had had no idea. I told her that I was sorry, that I didn't want to mess things up between her and her BF(and this is true, I may hate the guy but I have to like him, he has kept her happy). I told her that if she ever broke up with him that I would be there for her, not just as another BF but as a friend that she could talk to, and that if she wanted it that I would try my hardest to fill the hole where he had been. She told me thank you, and that I was a good friend. Since all of this happened, we have barely talked. I was wanting to know if I should tak to her about it or not. What should I do?
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 September 2009):
 I don't think you should talk to her right now. You are clearly in love with her and further contact will be painful. When love comes into a friendship like this it's hard to maintain the friendship because one of you is going to end up hurting.
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