A
female
age
36-40,
*aura 04051985
writes:I've been married for almost three years now my husband has put me down and called me names our whole relationship I left him july of last year for cheating on me but I came back cause I found out I was pregnant I thought that things would change but they seem to be worse but I want my child to have a family but it hurts so much I feel like I'm dying in side and yet I have noone to talk to I don't know what to do anymore my daughter is almost 5months old and I'm worried that keeping our family together will be worse on her in the long run I don't know where to begain to fix my life if I leave my child won't know her father if I stay she will she how he treats me and how hateful and selfish he is. What do I do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): your kid will survive a divorce. do not stay just to pretend that you have a happy home. get out while the kid is small and go make a life for yourself. without the scumbag.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 What is a family when one of its members is dead inside?
And to repeat Emily, but a bit less nicely, "Monkey see, monkey do". Do you want to feel like this as your daughter grows-up? No way in hell she ain't going to notice. Kids ain't stupid, they are little ears and eyes and observe everything and that is how they learn what they got to be like as adults. Dead inside from emotional abuse.
Not exactly a disney princess role-model is it?
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A
female
reader, Foxy_Mama  +, writes (13 September 2009):
Get out while you can.He is never, ever going to change. If he abused you and cheated on you, he will continue doing it.You owe it to your child to be the best mom you can. One who doesn't spend her energy and time dealing with an abusive, two timing husband.I fully agree with the previous poster: if you stay, your daughter will grow up thinking that that is how relationships between men and women are supposed to be. I'm sure that is not what you want for her. Or for you.Please take care of yourself. You deserve better!
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Get out now whilst you are still young. Many people start out with a bad marriage and find a great one second time around. Don't wait because it won't get any better regardless of what he might try to say.
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A
female
reader, califnan +, writes (13 September 2009):
 It sounds to me like there are only Two people in this relationship. Treasure the time that you have with your daughter at this young age, when many women must go to work and put their babies in a daycare. Try to further your education if you do not have employable skills.. This can be done on-line or at least at the library .. But I still think that in time - you are going to have to make a break for it, and leave him - sooner if he is physically abusing you ..
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 September 2009):
Leave.
If she grows up thinking that this is how a man treats his girlfriend then she is going to get into bad relationships as soon as she is old enough.
2 women a week die from domestic violence in the UK. I imagine it's far more in the USA.
Do you really want your daughter to see that it's fine to take abuse from a man, and then when her boyfriend hits her for the first time, she'll just accept it? It will probably be for something she did anyway and I'm sure he'll say he is sorry and he won't do it again....
Leave, be a strong independent woman, and when she is older you can explain that you left because it was a bad relationship and you wanted her to know that if a man is horrible to you, you LEAVE.
If her dad stays in her life then he can tell her his side of the story. If he doesn't then that's his choice and she'll judge him for it not you.
Good Luck!! xx
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