A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi. im 19 and have a problem. in the short time I've been on this earth I've lived quite a long life. I've seen and lived thru the worst of the worst (and I mean like dad put in jail mom hates you and sister is psycho) I've been poor all my life and have always lived paycheck to paycheck. thru my life tho I fell in love. we dated and and absolutely loved each other. we planned the rest of our lives together. but unfortunately she was murdered. I fell into depression and hated everyone and thing. I completely lost my sanity as well as my grip on reality. then after I got my first real job.(dealing wasn't paying enough for my fathers parole and the house, food was no longer a necessity) I met another girl. this girl seemed so interested in me. I payed her no attention. yet somehow she brought me back to life so to say. I fell in love with this girl yet I hated myself for it. we would talk on the phone all night and into the day. we would be together whenever we could. after a month or so she told me she was leaving. I broke down. I pushed her away hoping to eaze the pain of her leaving. it didn't. I yet again was alone and lost. I then changed jobs due to the fact that everything there reminded me of her. I found a new place. moved out of my hell hole. left my family behind. then out of my new job I met yet another girl. this girl is a lil different. she has a kid and is 25. I didn't want anything to do with her and yet she wanted everything to do with me. I couldn't help but yet again fall for her but this time from the verry beginning I somehow put up a barrier and I don't feel for anyone like I used to. she somehow made me smile. I would do things with her and hang out with her then hate myself later for ever having anything to do with her. somehow she got close to me and I would constantly try to distance myself from her. after accepting defeat and letting her in. I told her bout my past. that night we made love. the first time I've made love since my last abandonment. after that she continued to act the same with me and wanting to be with me, and all I wanted to do was take care of her and her child. she has had nothing but tragic relationships and doesn't stay single for long. so due to this all I wanted to do was protect her and her child, provide for them. but lately I've noticed that she has slept with many men. I know this is because she believes this will keep her from being hurt again. soon she began drifting away from me. wat should I do? im completely lost. this woman is amazing and does not deserve the way she is treating herself. right now all I can think of doing is leaving. moving on wit my life. yet a big part of me wants her and her child in my life.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Sometimes a woman sleeps with many men because she feels she can't trust any of them. By 'covering her bases' she knows she'll get at least a bit of support and attention from some of them: rather than putting all her faith in one man and having her heart broken.
If you can be patient and show her that you'll be there for her through bad times as well as good, then you can slowly earn her trust. Once she truly trusts you (and you her), then she may well not feel the need to do what she's been doing.
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