Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Trustworthy-Listener  +, writes (29 May 2009):
If you really loved her then you wouldn't mess up the relationship shes in. I know its hard if you really love her...I've been through something like this with the boy I loved but I waited until they broke up then make my move. Never break the relationship up because she won't like that if shes happy with the guy shes with. If shes happy leave it and you could get over her. Do you like the guy shes dating? If you made a move on her while they were dating would that affect the relationship between you and him. Just think before you act :) Hope this helped x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): atleast tell her what you think about her
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): he/she must just tell that person how he/she feels even though the person is involved.atleast he/she trie and person knows.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): ok i was in the same boat and this is what i did. If you do love her truley you will follow this. First find out if the guy is right for her. I dont mean personality wise. I mean is he just trying to have sex or something, has he or did he cheat on some one else. If the answer is yes then do something about it (tell her and then wait for her). If it is no then go to the next question. Is she happy with the guy she is with (if you love her then you should know this). If yes then let it be men dont mess it up. If the answer is no wait it out. DONT GIVE UP KEEP GOING FOR HER AND MAYBE YOU WILL GET HER. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): I'm having the same problem my man :(
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female
reader, Chocolate_Monkey +, writes (30 October 2006):
 does she feel the same about you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): If she feels the same for you, time will be on your side. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2006): Does she feel the same? If she has not given you hope then just enjoy her friendship.
Only time will tell.
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female
reader, DEBS83 +, writes (26 October 2006):
 does she feel the same about you?
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female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Hi trusting,
ok so this all depends on how longs shes been in the relationship and what kind of relationship it is. First is first don't go after a taken women... if you guys really click and are truly meant to be, she will leave her current relationship... but lets not forget all these other women out there with no ties, issues and baggage, so try and go for them!
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (26 October 2006):
 There's really nothing you can do if she is with someone already. You can't really wait because you don't know how long and if she does break it off with her current then she will make you a rebound guy. Move on and remain friends. You never know what the future will bring.
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (26 October 2006):
 If you love her, don't try to interfere with her current relationship. Just let her be happy.
Just be there as a friend, I assume you are friends already.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Hello Trusting,
If this girl is already with someone else, then I'm afraid to say I think you should move on. If you sit around thinking about her and waiting for her relationship not to work out, then you just might be waiting for a really long time.
If their relationship does end, then maybe you would be able to be with her. Even then I'd stress to wait a bit before being with her. You wouldn't want it to be a rebound thing and then have her split up with you. That would probably crush your heart even more. If you do get with her, though, I would suggest being a little cautious. If enough time passes and you have a good feeling for the future, then I would think it'd be a good time to get closer. Remember, you don't want to set yourself up just to be let down. (That doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship, though. Just take things slowly.)
If I were in your position, I would try to keep going out with friends, get to know other girls, and have fun. I know that's not really what you want to do, but would moping around about this girl really make you feel better? Try to stay focused on doing positive things and filling up your time so thoughts of her don't make you overly upset.
Problems like this are always so frustrating and hit people really hard. It will take time and the support of your friends, but most of all it will take you wanting to help yourself.
Things will get better, Trusting. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2006): Get to know her (if ur not close already), but avoid being put in the 'friend' catagory. How long has she been in this relationship? Is it a good one? Is she happy? If u love her u will put herself before you, so if she's happy then settle for being second best, but if not then i'm afraid u've just got to sit it out and wait for them to break up, then swoop in.
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