A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my fiance for nearly 2 years now and we moved in together 2 months ago. Most parts of our relationship are great but we have little fall outs that turn into big arguements because he would rather say its over than talk to me about whats on his mind. We had a little fall out the other night just over something stupid and as he works away we havent spoken all week. Im dreading him coming home on friday and telling me its over. Am i worrying over nothing or should i expect the worst?
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female
reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (26 October 2006):
Moving in together is tough especially the first 6 months or so. A lot of people break up within the first year of living with one another, so you have to see, wait it out and hope it gets better. Since you two are engaged you may want to consider postponing a set date for a wedding for awhile... otherwise spending money on a big wedding might ultimately be your demise, because weddings cause stress too.
I find it odd that he wouldnt call for a week... I really think you 2 might need to go to a counselor/therapist. He obviously would rather ignore a problem than work through it, which isn't always good. My suggestion is for you to possibly write down or think about some issues you feel need to be covered. But with things remaining this bad, you might have to go out and find a new place to live sometime soon.
Goodluck hope it works out for the best
A
female
reader, Fernikle +, writes (26 October 2006):
Sweetheart, 2 years, it's a longtime isn't it. But you know, it's not as long as 3. The longer a relationship is, the harder it is to break-up. It seems your fellas behavior is indicative of deep troubles/secrets he doesn't want to tell you or feels he can't. You need some cards on the table. You shouldn't be feeling this way before he comes back. You say he won't talk, but maybe now is the time you have to take control of the situation. TALK-don't shout. Remain calmn. This shows you are being serious and not just having a screaming paddy. Explain-calmly - your feelings and want to know if he himself has changed feelings for you. Ask him where he sees your relationship in the next 6 months - 1 year. But, no matter what, remain calmn and accept that this fella may not be feeling the same as you and feel that your relationship has run it's course. Painful, but you will heal, as many have before you and be stronger from the experience.
On the other hand, it could be positive and strengthening for you both.
Whichever way it falls for you, I wish you all the luck for the future.
Mwah X
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