A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know why, but she is just so clingy, and her emotions are seriously unstable at times. If I don't say I love you enough, or Ill miss you when i go to work enough, or hug/cuddle her enough, and more along those lines, she gets serious depressed and wants to send me on a guilt trip, or eat..When Im not working, or i want to go out, she always wants to be with me,its cool and all, but now I see her as an extra attachment to my body, she wants my affection 24/7, I love her but I love my space as well, I can't have any. She hates when I talk to other females, when most of the time they re clients for where I work, and she doesn't want me to hang out with my friends, oh did I mention she doesn't have any? that just makes it worse.She tells me when I am to go to sleep, even on a weekend, its normally when SHE wants to go to sleep, so i have to join her, I normally try the tuck and roll technique, but shes gotten keen to it and cuddles me with both arms and legs, ugh its ridiculousI mean, She is drop dead gorgeous, and I am just a normal guy, Im surprised i even managed to have a chance with her, but now I don't know what to think, I really don't want to end this relationship, but she is pushing me to my limits. I'd rather be single than deal with this any longer, I have ZERO space, I can't go out unless shes there, I can't hang with friends, and even IF i do go against her, she calls me back to back and hounds me down till i come home.I had to type this from work cause she checks my browser at home, I could just delete the cache and etc, but I have important work saved on some webpages, I also pay my bills over the internet so having to type all that in is annoying.I really need some advice here, I want to work through this, but Im on my wits end, how can i break it to her that I just want space, im not going anywhere, how do i explain that to her?thank you(Speak of the devil shes calling now)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): I am sure that your girlfriend knows what you are thinking (UGH) she can read it in your body language, your actions and your face through all these "hints".
This is just making her even more insecure and fearful because she is imagining the worst based on not hearing what is up with you.
I think you should just come clean with her and tell her how her clingyness is making you feel, but also "own" your own feelings about this. No one can make you feel anything or is responsible for how you feel.
You also sound judgemental that she has no friends, she probably does have friends, but fewer, more close friends and she is not a social butterfly like you are...in fact opposites attract....so she may l ike that you add a more social aspect to her life, so realize this and embrace it and let your friends be her friends.
That said, you have a right to spend time with friends without her, but if they are female friends, I can understnad that she doesn't like that too much....you need to hang with your buddies, someplace other than a meat market if you don't want her to complain.....and that is fair if you are committed and exclusive. If you don't wanta be, then that is another issue all together.
Talk to her and tell her you love her when you do it...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): I can understand this clingy is not sexy... My advice is hints, being extreamly polite has not work go bolder. Pont blank say I like you but i feel you are too clingy, and it's starting to make me think that's not somthing i want in any relationship.. Let her know you have gave her hints and politely said it, and she choose not to hear you... If it don't work make space, so she see's you are not kidding.. If still a no go leave the relationship with her knowing why...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): well, she is obviously very insecure and there is not much you can do. You said she was very pretty, maybe she has been cheated on in the past. In fact I would bet on it. Sometimes with the help of your partner time will end the insecurities.... Such as you being open and talking about it with her... talking about the insecurities and maybe even getting help (therapy)... There are times when every relationship has serious doubts but I can tell you as a person who suffers from being insecure that it helps to have a partner who works with you. Its a process, and a long one at that. So, you have to decide if you want that level of commitment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): what you need to do is find her some friends and maybe she will spend more time with them instead of bothering you, and you should tell her that you want your space, every guy in a relationship needs time to themseleves and should be themselves no matter what. and if you happen to tell her that you want your space and she does not like it i think your better off just ending the relationship because to me ,it seems like she doesnt trust you enough to give you some time to yourselve
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