A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so i really need some advice on what to do. I've been friends with this girl for a little over a year know and we became the best of friends ever, but when i met her she just got a boyfriend and they have been goin out for just about as long as we have been friends. We talk just about everyday, she knows everything about me and i know everything about her, i've even got to the point where i've met her family and gone to lunch and dinner with them i've been to her house with her family around and i've grown really close to her and her family. But this boyfriend she has is getting in the way for me, he has no idea about me or that she even talks to me. We've talked about being togther and she says once its done with her boyfriend but what i dont get is that its been a year know and still nothing, she knows that they will break up eventually but just not sure when. To be honest im getting sick of waiting should i just move on and find someone else or keep waiting. But when things go bad between her and her boyfriend she calls me and talks about it, also she always says how he's doing stupid things and how she is annoyed with it all but she never leaves him. I've never been this close with anyone and i know she feels the same, but when she goes out with him and he's the one at the end of the night with her and she's told me the stories of how they ended up having sex and what not, I'm really getting tired of it. Please help me whould i wait it out however long it takes or just move on??
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): if she really Likes you Tell her please break up with him if she refuses then just move on
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 I will tell you what I tell everyone in this situation. Let her go. Please, don't make it easier for her to break your heart anymore.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 I know exactly what you mean.It doesnt feel good knowing that a person who holds a special place in your heart is breaking it little by little. For your own sake, move on. She isnt worth the time and suffering for. Yes you may love her dearly but do you really thinks she feels the same if she is still with her bf? She is giving you excuses to wait for her when her bf doesnt want her then she'l still have someone there. You are just a rebound in this case. A Last choice. Plan B. She is not putting you first in her life as much as you put her in yours. Dont waste your time waiting around on someone who cant commit to you as much as you could with her. Have more respect for yourself. Teach her a lesson to not play with a person heart. Especially who she considers a " Best Friend".
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (2 December 2007):
 "We've talked about being togther and she says once its done with her boyfriend but what i dont get is that its been a year know and still nothing"
Well first of all, why are you seeing someone who has a bf? I could never do that and would be questioning if she did it to him, she'd probably do it to me.
"she knows that they will break up eventually but just not sure when"
Well if she's so unhappy why doesn't she break it off then? She knows you're ready and waiting and if she really wanted it she'd ditch him and go out with you.
Perhaps she's waiting for her bf to do something wrong so she can use it as an excuse to end it? I've been in this situation as the bf and had no choice but to end it. Within a few days she hooked up with someone else and that was that.
"To be honest im getting sick of waiting should i just move on and find someone else or keep waiting"
If I were you I would move on, or give her an ultimatum "him or me" and see what happens... If she goes for it then you've won, if she doesn't then you've lost but you'll have the closure you need to move on and find someone else.
"... when things go bad between her and her boyfriend she calls me and talks about it, also she always says how he's doing stupid things and how she is annoyed with it all but she never leaves him"
Perhaps you're a substitute for her emotional needs she isn't getting from her bf? This is a tricky situation to be in. Personally I'd issue an ultimatum and if it doesn't go your way cut ALL contact.
"We talk just about everyday, she knows everything about me and i know everything about her, i've even got to the point where i've met her family and gone to lunch and dinner with them i've been to her house with her family around and i've grown really close to her and her family"
This sounds BAD. If I were in the bf shoes I'd be worried about all this and I'm sure this'll have an effect on their relationship. Ok he doesn't know, but SHE does and I'm sure her behaviour toward her bf is making him question... They probably have rows about nothing and he's probably wondering what's going on, trust issues surface and I think you're contributing to this in some way.
"But this boyfriend she has is getting in the way for me, he has no idea about me or that she even talks to me"
Well, like I say he'll probably have an idea she's a bit funny. The fact he doesn't know means the gf here is not trustworthy. I'd be fuming if I found out this was going on behind my back.
In summary, issue and ultimatum, if it doesn't go your way cut ALL contact and move on. STOP being her emotional backup.
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