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age
41-50,
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writes: What do I do?My girlfriend was acting suspiciously. I knew something wasn't right. Anyway I caught her on a dating website chatting to guys! We didn't fight about it. We talked and she told me how sorry she was. She told me she was going to close her account. Anyway a couple of days later I knew things weren't right. So I went on to the site and set up a dummy account. Anyway I contacted her with this dummy account and we got talking. Sent a few emails back and forth and she told me she was single. She then told me she'd like to meet up and go for a drink. I couldn't contain myself any longer and I confronted her about it. Again we only talked. I don't like fighting and arguing. I asked her to explain herself to me and she told me it was because of me. Thing is I'm always telling her how amazing she is and how she could have any man she wants and how I feel she is too good for a man like me and she said it makes her think I'm going to leave her. But I'm not. I'm so in love with her. Do I give her another chance or leave her? I know it will break my heart if I leave her but how can I trust her? Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2012): Hey bro,
You really got to look deeper into this relationship of yours. Intention counts for every thing! If she can initiate a meet up between a stranger(which is obviously u) i can rest assured you that she will always be on a lookout for something better..I was once in your shoes, same situation..lying and flirting with other guys on the dating website..but tells me she loves me. She even blame me for things that i not even done to her and for her which drove me mad of course..i love her deeply and we suppose to have a marriage union but in the end got burned so bad..Don't even think about changing her with your love for her and hope that she will loves you back ,because she CAN'T be changed! I know u are a loving person by nature and you shown love and respect towards her. but if she can't respect you by her own actions, u mean NOTHING inside her heart. Because she will keep doing what she is doing regardless whether you are her boyfriend or not. You will gonna suffer emotional abuse from her if u keep hanging on to this relationship. My advice is don't commit to her anymore..and don't even listen to her crying or begging if u manage to break off with her. If she did leave you, that good! But if she don't, she gonna cling on to u for attention and gonna suck your energy and emotion every times! But yet behind your back flirting with other guys! I hope u have the courage to make a wise decision and hope u don't fall into my foot steps.
This is coming from a person who loses everything for a girl whom he loves deeply and suffer for a 2 years depression. Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): Dump her right quick and dont look back. My ex who I lived with, showed utter trust in opened up to like I would never have done before ended up texting/flirting with some guy she was working with then lying time and again about it. It is her fault not yours and she'll keep at it no matter what you do ditch and do as soon as possible and dont talk to her again!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2012): you gotta leave her, man. she clearly isn't in this relationship the way that you are. you probably would never dream of talking to other girls while with her. the fact that she is talking to other guys goes to show where her heart is. and it unfortunately doesn't seem to be with you. you gotta to cut her loose.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 What will you do when she does it again?...and again after that...and another time after that?
How much more of the trust does she have to destroy to make you throw in the towel?
If you are going to put up with this behaviour forever because you love her and hate to argue, seriously...you got no cause to be here complaining!!
The other aunts have said 'Kick her to the kerb'...that's what you should do...unless you seriously wanna live a life of misery and mistrust...because you love her.
You let her get away with it twice...basically she now has licence to cheat and blame you...so best of luck because she is making a fool out of you and you are letting her.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 She's guilty of schmoozing other men behind your back and this is somehow your fault? Boy, that's a good one. Talk about shiftin the blame to someone other than yourself, so you never have to take responsibility for your own dishonesty. You may be 'so in love with her' but trust me she is not 'so in love with you' otherwise she wouldn't still be shopping for another man behind your back. No you cannot trust her. Not now, probably not ever. What you decide to do about it is up to you.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 Her reason was lame. I don't care what problems you have in the relationship. She lied about her status. Then she lied about closing the account. She showed her true face and she is hardly good for any man. She broke your heart whether you stay in this or not. She is caught red handed and she doesn't have the decency to apologize. Even if you stay with her you can't forgive this. You will be letting her know that her deceit is acceptable for you, and it will only delay the reality that one day she is leaving you for good when she finds a more suitable man for her. She is already thinking of leaving you and does not feel the urgency to improve the relationship and gain your trust. When you break up with her it is only sparing her need to tell you the truth about why she doesn't want to be with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2012): As a fellow woman, I would even say to leave this girl. It seems to be she has rather checked out in the relationship, and it most likely is not you. It sounds like you've been nothing but supportive, but she needs to try to make herself feel better. Instead of coming and saying, "Yes I was emotionally cheating, and then had the intent to physically cheat", she would rather say, "Yes I did that, but you made me" because that may make her feel a little better for hurting you. Something my mom always joked about was serial overlapping monogamy (It can't really exist), as being that you have one boyfriend lined up before you dump the last one. It sounds to me she's looking elsewhere and I wouldn't be surprised if you stayed with her further down the line she would leave you. She appears to not really see herself as in a relationship since she said that she was single, and is clearly shopping around. I think you deserve much more than her because clearly she is playing some very immature mind games and it's not fair to you to put up with a woman who is essential cheating on you emotionally. I know it's hard to be betrayed by someone but this is not your fault and I think you need to be done with her, but not without letting her know that the BS she's throwing out about it being your fault is not true. Best of luck!
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