A
male
age
41-50,
*ason32477
writes: 2 months ago she left mehttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-end-this-relationship-if-she-doesnt.html We worked it out or so I thought.I agreed she could keep her project house until we moved out of here and i said i didnt think i could do it in less than 6 months and it was ok. Thursday she told me that she wanted me to go ahead and try to get a job on the bridge crew(traveling job).She got her apartment and wanted to live there while I work.Well I got pretty mad about it and tried to yell at her ( i`ve been yelling so much my voice is gone) *sigh* yes I have anger issues but the thought of us being apart just drives me insane. When I got home Friday she was leaving.I offered her everything i had if she would stay.i offered my trailer if she would give up her apartment.Neither had any effect.I said if you leave dont bother coming back. She wants to have a place I cant stay.with my record i`d be arrested for staying there,and she would lose it.It makes me very insecure that she wants to hold onto such a place. I`m not gonna live with that hanging over my head anymore and told her if she wants me back it has to go.She said no. Bottom line. I love her but don`t think she cares about me enough to continue.Her reasons for leaving?1.my family dont like her and there my neighbors2. its boring out here.my response1.my family dont live with us and dont come over.2.while your home bored i`m working.I`d gladly trade you.so her reasons dont carry much weight with me.I told her we need an outside opinion and she agreed.So I will direct her here.I know I love her and our 5 month old daughter.But dont see it in return.
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (27 July 2010):
 why can't you move to her apartment? no offense, but that has got to be a better environment for your child then a trailer.
It really looks as if you are taking things that have nothing to do with her feelings and turning it into that. its your insecurities talking to you. Her reasons had NOTHING to do with you. It was all about your family and fun factor.
You really need to work out your anger issues, it seems like you are throwing ultimatums at her left and right. "if you leave you are never coming back" yet the thought of her leaving drives you insane? Get a grip! Stop being a controlling asshole and compromise with her.
Why did you get mad that she was supporting you in a job and wanted to live in an apartment while you did so? Maybe you're leaving out details but it doesn't seem like you had any real right to get upset.
Here is what I think you two should do. What is best for your daughter?
Should she have a father with anger issues, preferably not...go get help for that
she should probably have a secure home, why not keep the apartment?
compromise like an adult with your girlfriend for your baby's sake, no yelling, no getting irrationally upset and if you do, have some dignity and act maturely and talk it out calmly.
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