A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a problem with my current gf. we have know each other for 3yrs but we have been going out for 8months.she told me that she fell in love the first time she saw me. but she has a 1yr old baby with an older guy.the guy comes to visits his baby every once in awhile. but everytime he comes by i never see her. she says that there is nothing going on. about a week ago(guy was in town)she told me that she needed her space and shes too busy to spend time with me. she says that she still loves me, i do love her too but i dont know anymore what to do. should i just move on with my life and forget that she ever existed.
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (21 October 2007):
 She could be playing with your emotions or she could be afriad of complications with the child's Father. He may be using the child as a pawn to win her back or perhaps to control her in some way. On the other hand they could be still in somewhat of a romantic relationship that is only for the period of times they are together. This could be for as strange as it sounds (for the child) or it could be just for other needs. It is hard to acutally say in cases like this. Give her benefit of the doubt but do keep your eyes and ears open. Be honest and try letting her know that it really bothers you. If you two love one another you can put forth the effort to work this out. Remember that a child is involved in this equation and you need to consider the well being of the child first. Let her know that you truely love her and you are there for emotional support as well as romantically. Show your care and concern for the relationship that you two have. Let her know you will try to understand whatever decision she has to make based on the situation. Be patient and see what she will decide to do. It's all up to her. Best wishes and Godspeed.
A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Dear Anon.
the problem is in no way yours, because she has a child it changes relationships, because the farther is back on the scene it complicates thing a bit, she cannot love you has much as she says or she would be with you and not spending time with this guy.
the danger to you is that they maybe having a relationship together, if they are she will come running back to you, if she gets pregnant again, because he deserted her once, and is capable of doing it again.
she has told you she loves just in case he does go off and leaves her in the lurch, sorry she seems to be using you for her own ends, i think it is time to move on, and find some one who will give you love and happiness which i think she is unable to give you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): She may be trying to see if she can get the father of her baby to commit to being in hers & the child's life. But she shouldn't be playing you while waiting for him to decide. Demand to know what is going on so that you can make a decision.
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