A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 30 yrs old female in love with married female of 26 yrs and we are deeply in love and adoration of each other. We are also having physical relation. The thing is that she's not ready to leave her husband and 3 yr old boy at all for me. She's asking me to wait for 15 yrs as her son is too young and needs a mother. She's making a commitment to come and stay with me forever after 15 years.In the meanwhile she wants me to move on and make it big. Though she doesn't want anything else. I'm unable to break this relationship. Her husband is hell bent on breaking our friendship too. We won't be able to see each other because of him. I need help. Please. Can't live without her at all. She is my love and motivation to live. Please help.Update in this relationship:She sometimes says she'll try and come early to me as in much more earlier than 15 yrs. I'm fearing this whole thing because I'm putting my life on stake and most of all I'm scared of long distance relationship also. I fear to be hurt and hurt her. I love her but, life is unpredictable and circumstance. I just can't can't live without her. I love her a lot and lot and I'm ready to sacrifice my whole life all I want to know is, if she's gonna come back even if its 2 or 10 or 15 yrs. I wanna wait. I love her. She too does love me. All this is for the child. I love her. Please help me to be positive. Please.
View related questions:
long distance, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Thanks so much for your answers I will ask her to see if we both can raise the child and she's agreeing but, its going to take a while. She needs to be strong and positive to break her marriage.I absolutely agree with most of you. Anyone would feel like that why my love is asking to wait for so long.....but, kindly read the update she's very likely to change the span of time that we remain apart. The reason she can't leave her husband is because of family sham and society and most of all her security to have the kid even if she divorces. The reason why she's asking for 15 yrs coz' kid will be an adult and can choose the parent. She's still gathering the courage and I need to be positive about her. Please help me in being positive. I know she loves me and there's no doubt about it, and I love her too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): it would be a lot easier on the 3 year old son, if she made the change now, because its likely the kid won't have too many memories from age three, if however she does it when he's 18, that will be a much bigger hurt for him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Princess_Rae  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Anonymous,
Your question strikes me as odd for 2 reasons. First, that she is content to let you go, maybe never see her again, and that her husband is enabling that behavior. And secondly, because you speak of her as if she is the only one for you forever. As a very dedicated lesbian, something doesn't seem to add up.
I can really understand her concern about raising her children, but if she is wanting to be with you forever, then you would be equally good to her child as her husband would. It is a totally BS argument that lesbians and gays cannot raise well adjusted children. You should put to her the idea of raising this child together. It would be a decent litmus test of where you are as a couple.
If her reaction doesn't meet your personal standards for dating her, then you have much of your life ahead. You need to come to terms with your feelings are potentially not being reciprocated. You should not have to wait up to 15 years for her to raise her child, and then consider if she is still with her husband she could potentially have another one which could add even more years to that 15. You have the right to love and be loved back, if she cannot be there for you it is unfair to except you to wait.
I hope you follow your heart, and do what is best for your emotions. I also hope that she considers the idea of raising the child together.
Love,
Princess Rae
...............................
|
