A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Another day another problem. My gf, well current ex and i have a child together. Weve been together for 2 years and fight all the time. In the past its a few days and me being childish and blocking her and things like that. Each time i sit home an cry and it works out in the end. Shes always thought i cheat on her, but if im not with her im working or trying to fix us. Most recently she hacked my phone account and found out i texted a girl i used to talk to a few times. The messGes were bday wishes and that was about it. Nothing got out of line except that they dragged on. She dropped hints about it and i lied. She got to the point where she told me and ended it w me. She was. Crying and i tried to talk. She wouldnt have it so the next day she blocks me. I tried talking to her and it went nowhere. I called her house and we talked. She called me out on another person i texted and i lied again. Finally i told her the truth and that person she was ok w just not how i lied. I finally called her mom who i dont get along w bc she wouldnt answer me and i missed my son. It was set hp to see him that day. She brings hin out and thats about it. I bring him back later and ask for 2 min. Shes calm and lets me talk but becomes angry and walks away. A bit later i get a mesage that her friend it trying to start problems. I ask her to stop an call my gf. She has an attitude and hangs up. I email her asking her not to try to cause more problems bc im upset. Once her gf leaves she calls me and things seem a little better. She gets angry so i tell her the last thing ill say is i love you and hung up. 10 min later she calls to tell me that shes taking our son away and figures i should know as she wont talk to me the nex day. I tell her i know she loves me and i shouldnt have lied. She tells me off and hangs up. So in the morning i email her to call me. She calls a little later. She gets mad and asks if ill take our son out bc she has stuff to do. So i pick him up and ask her for a hug. She gives me a long hug and we talk a little and she tells me she doesnt know if she loves me or can trust me again. So an hour before im to return him she calls me and acts fine. I tell her i love her and she just said ok. I asked her to tell me she loves me and shetold me i dont deserve it. So i asked if she does and she says she doesnt know. While we were out i got her a picture frame that said i love you and put a pic of us in it. Her sister texted me to call her mom when i get to her house. I told my gf to look in the bag when shes home as there was a present. I knew she was home and she didnt say anything. 3 hours later she calls me to thank me. I said it was from our son. She said thank you again. So i said all im goingto say is thst i love you but cant chase you and hung up. I know she thought i was going out w my friends so she planned the call time. So i wake up st 3am and find a email from her telling me that its harder on her and that she does care about me and hiw she is angry and doesnt want to make a decision bc it would be no and she wants to be the one to make up her mind, not anger. So i emailed her back tellig. Her i understand and i wont bother her. It didnt go through so i get an ema right before she was leaving saying that she sent me one and didnt know if it webt through. So i resend it. When she arrives for her night away she calls me to tell me she got it. And nothing was said so she jut said bye and hung up on me. So i waited and finally asked why she had to call. She didnt answer so i called her from work. She didnt answer until the second try a bit later. We talked and things were almost ok so i sent her another message telling her i miss her and know she loves me and would like to hear her say it. She didnt answer so icalled again. She never answered it so i Tried calling again w no luck. So i called her moms number and she called me back later. She said shes away to get her mind off how hurt she is and was mad. So i messaged her telling her that im upset and need her but shes not there so she must not care. She answered me when i got out of work saying that she does care but is trying to get over how hurt she is and in just bothering her. That she cant ever trust me again. I replied that i dont know why i bother and she said she doesnt know. So i told her i wished i was an asshole who didnt care. She called me an asshole bc its not fair shes in this situation and doesnt deserve it. So i told her that i love her but i cant change my lies only show her i wknt do them again. I love her and i know i shouldnt lie. Im trying to give her space but its hard sittinf alone. Im affraid to lose her so im affraid to go out. I know she needs time and space, any advice?
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female
reader, Mature Lady  +, writes (24 June 2012):
I hope when you and your girlfriend argue it is not in front of your child,I do not know what age you both are but a realationship is not one if there is no trust in it.I cannot see this going anywhere,and feel you would be better going your seperate ways,of course you are entitled to access to your child if you do seperate and as a father I would hope you would continue to do your duty to be a good one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012): Do you know what it is like to love and trust someone completely, then they suddenly start acting funny around you and are mean to you while you try to do everything to make it better for them, but things only get worse...so, you figure they must not love you so much anymore and they must be cheating on you. And when you look at their phone and see some girls name, and mention these texts to them, and they lie about it?! The only thing it does is cement in your girl's mind that you cheated on her. It doesn't make it any better even if you didn't cheat because you lied about having a conversation with a girl and you wouldn't lie unless you felt you had something to hide. Relationships are built on trust and until you stop lying to her, your relationship doesn't have a leg to stand on.
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