A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. I have this fantasy, like I want to get raped by my boyfriend, but I just don't know how to tell him. Or should I tell him in the first place? I'm not into physical pain, I just enjoy to struggle and let myself be "hard to f***". My boyfriend is very gentle and careful in bed, but he's strong and can handle me easily. Sometimes I let him tie me up, but he's only tickling me and I don't really enjoy it. What I'd really enjoy is to play the "rape" game. I know, I should be able to tell him, we DO have a great communication, but I'm afraid he doesn't know what to do and he'll feel frustrated...Help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): Playing 'hard to get' and resisting during sex is a very well used game between couples. I usually have to 'prep' my guy with whatever fantasy we are using. One of my favorites being to 'prep' him that no matter how much I beg you to enter me, wait until I am begging. Or for him to enter me, and very hard and fast, with absolutely no foreplay. We do the foreplay later.There are no set rules. If you can spice up your sexual fun with fantasy then go for it.Sexual fantasies are entirely normal. Fantasies have been used between consenting couples for many years and were not uncommon amongst the more adventurous couples in years gone past and well before the 20th century. Many couples use Fantasy games as private mutually satisfying games enjoyed behind closed doors. The trust and love between the couple must be very high for this to work. For normal couples it does not mean that the couple would want it to happen in real life. Even normal singles, alone, use such fantasies to heighten sensation during masturbation and vary the scenarios. As with any loving sexual relationship, where there is a lot of trust, and where a couple welcome variety and enjoy being innovative then a fantasy as you describe is not uncommon.I will trust your instinct on this one. You are cautious for a reason. So I would suggest a progressive approach. Tell him in advance that you want to have some fun. Though he is not to do anything that you indicate you do not want. But as part of that fun you want to physically resist him. And while you physically resist him you also want him to proceed despite the signals you are giving him. In this fantasy you will ask him thrust harder every time you resist. Even at the start make it difficult by holding your legs tightly together. Tell him that in this fantasy you will do nothing to assist him, but that you will be enjoying it immensely as he has to physically part your legs.Ask him to hold your wrists down hard and fast. And you will do your darndest to twist away. But that he is not to stop, until he comes, no matter what. And tell him that you expect to enjoy it very much.He may be shocked at first. Note you do not need to use the R word. Since honorable men hate any form of sex without proper consent. And it's not the same as that despicable act in real life. But consenting mutually enjoyed sex with a multitude of fantasies thrown in is great between consenting adults. Your fantasy is one such sexual fantasy.If he enjoys this fantasy then you may like to introduce other suggestions and fantasy scenarios and set the ground rules for each other before you start.Do NOT discuss your sexual life nor your fantasies outside of your relationship to family, friends, or colleagues, and ask him to respect this rule too. Also do NOT allow a mobile phone (inadvertent recording of your sex or the audio) to be on during sex and never allow a camera (phone nor digital camera etc) to film the action. It represents poor judgment or betrayal for both to allow filming of your private moments.One of the prohibted actions in your fantasy should be a proviso that he cannot slap you (nor you try to do that to him) as that is hard to explain regarding how you got a bruise.Many couples also dress up in various fantasy characters or in costumes such as doctor and patient etc. Enjoy them all with your boyfriend.Don't forget to ask him about his sexual fantasies. Just because he agrees to your fantasy does not automatically mean that you have to agree to his. But if you feel comfortable within your exclusive (just the two of you) relationship then do consider his fantasies too
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