A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with a married woman. I love her so much and she also. She is married about 9 year and have daughter of 8 year.But now i want to quit from this situation because i have got so much pain in this relation. She love me but not want to be with me because of her daughter and culture.But problem is that i love her so much . When i said her that i want to leave her she is not agree with me and crying....I dont know what to do?Please help me....
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male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (12 March 2013):
What do you do? LEAVE!
If you were my brother I'd give you the beat down for messing with a married woman. NEVER is that sort of thing ok unless her husband KNOWS.
If her husband doesn't know, you should tell him. Then hand him a weapon.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): You should never get emotionally involved with married people. Now, sex is another thing, but don't let it progress into anything beyond the physical part. A married person is more inclined to have their cake and eat it too as opposed to leaving everything behind and starting a new life with the affair partner. Married people who get involved in affairs treat the affair partner as a source of distraction and pleasure from the everyday grind of married life. You are basically a drug to her; a forbidden distraction.....that's it. Wake up and move on.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
 If you truly love her you will respect her wishes and leave her alone.
if you say you can't then it's not truly love and you are being selfish.
When you truly love someone you want them to be happy even if it's without you.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 March 2013):
 I think you know exactly what you need to do. Are you just needing a push? How about ticking off all of the precious time you've already wasted on this dead end? That should give you a push in the right direction.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 March 2013):
Uhhhh, leave her and learn your lesson?
You made the choice to get involved with a married woman, and what happened is exactly what you should have expected.
Treat it as a break up due to incompatibility and move on.
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A
male
reader, Been Through It +, writes (12 March 2013):
 This is the part of what you stated you really did not consider. Your heart is now invested into something that is not available. She is struggling as much as you are if not more. With a unsatisfied marriage and a 8 year old daughter, she is probably a stressful mess and the time she gets to spend with you is the only time she gets to relieve that stress. It's very possible her heart is aligned with yours, but it is a complicated emotion. She may be telling you what you don't want to hear, but feeling something completely different. It's also very possible the fantasy of being with you is not out weighing the reality of it, so she may be keeping that wall up and harboring her real feeling about the situation. Right now she wants to have her cake and eat it too. By staying with her you are enabling her to not make any decisions and pro longing any pain you are about to feel once you cut the cord. You have to ask yourself if this is what you want and what you are willing to take. It was fun in the beginning, but now it sucks. It's a gamble you have to be willing to take and if you can get up the strength and courage to stand for what you want, you will see if she comes to you are not. Be ready as it will not be a pretty site and divorce is extremely hard, even if she in not happily married. If she does go down that path, you may even want to stay away until the dust is clear. It's easy to say and hard to do, but something to think about. She will be going through lots of pain and confusion. This is all of what she will need to do in order to find clarity in her life. Just know she will never leave her family for you, but really for herself. You are more of a catalyst for her to finally make the change she probably really wants but is too scared to do so. Be strong and know that being in affair has no advantages once the heart gets involved.
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