A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:How do I move on from a girl whom I love?I love a girl who is my best friend (she knows that I love her since I have told her my feelings but she had chosen to date another guy instead of me).I understand is time for me to move on because I can't just stand there and wait for her. However, I don't know how to move on from her.Once time, I deliberately upset her and she ignores me for two weeks. I thought this method would work but actually I was in pain. And she doesn't like loosing me too.In school, I tried to avoid her sometime and don't talk to her as much but she really wants to talk to me because I was the one who allowed her to build her joy on my pain (when she was upset that her current boyfriend was not asking her out, I was there to listen to all her feelings toward that boy which was painful for me).I don't know what can I do to move on from her which I think is compulsory.
View related questions:
best friend, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Hi,
Time is the only thing that can help you move on. It is obvious that she does not feel the same way you do about her. You said it yourself, "I can't just stand there and wait for her." Although it is painful to be away from her, you must move on. Find distractions, such as other girls, sports, head to clubs (or bookstores if you're the type), etc. Keep yourself busy. This doesn't mean that you should avoid her, just try to reduce contact to weaken the "love" you feel for her. If you find that she is too attached, let her know. You might come off as an asshole, but it's for the best. This is coming from someone with a similar experience.
A
male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 A couple things:--I think she is being quite self-centered and insensitive if she is telling you about another guy when she knows you love her. She does not sound like such a great friend to me.--I agree that you need to break from her. It will be torture for you to stay with her. And a waste of your energy, which you could use to find someone who will fully appreciate you romantically.--One thing I have found very helpful in breaking away is to do it gradually. I know people talk about going "cold turkey", but I think this is very hard. One thing I did was slowly break ties: when the person called or texted I did not reply right away. I then began to stop seeing her, making up excuses. Then I began ignoring messages altogether. Finally, I explained that I needed space. I was able to wean myself off her--also a woman to whom I had grown close but had no interest in me--and get the space and separation I needed.Just my thoughts. I wish you much success and strength.
...............................
|
